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Unsure about her actions?


objob1994

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I have this friend who I've been friends with for a three years or so.

 

We're leaving uni soon and I'm moving away so chances are we'll become more distant.

 

But a few months ago we were in a club and she started kissing my neck and behind my ear. I pecked her back but didn't think anything of it.

 

We've just had Easter break and she hadn't seen me for three weeks but she was getting quite touchy feely - wouldn't stop putting her arm around my waist and wouldn't stop kissing my cheeks and blowing air near my face/ears. Her eyes were looking really warm and she kept saying she missed me a lot.

 

She's also sleeping with or has recently been sleeping with someone in our friendship group, so I'm not sure I'd want anything to do with her but yeah, any ideas?

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She was trying to tell you she wanted more than a friendship with you. Whether than was a FWB/ONS or she wanted to date you I don't know. But now she's with another guy. You lost your chance so do nothing.

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She's also sleeping with or has recently been sleeping with someone in our friendship group, so I'm not sure I'd want anything to do with her but yeah, any ideas?

 

She is after a FWB fling before the group is dismantled and everyone goes their separate ways. I notice you say she is sleeping with someone else in your group but you don't say she is dating that person. She's making rounds. Do you want to be a notch in her belt, because that's what she's trying for?

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  • 3 months later...
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If anyone is interested, we ended up kissing and making out in a club end of April after she said some stuff to me (I make her so happy and that she really likes me and stuff like this). I didn't go further because it didn't feel right. I know she wanted sex as the time we were out before, she said to me 'we'd never have sex because you're like a brother to me', to which I replied 'yeah, it would be weird'. Then on the night we made out, it started with her saying 'I didn't mean anything I said the other night...'

 

It was really messed up. Why? Because she's been sleeping for two years with a friend (x) of mine in our group. Whilst we were making out, she said why I didn't make a move, I said I thought it was because she liked x, to which she replied x doesn't give a 's*** about me'. How could she honestly think I could've made a move. I appreciated our friendship and whilst I thought about more, I was able to contain my thoughts.

 

I didn't sleep with her as it felt wrong (and I sort of feel good as she's now finally official with x). Tbh on the one hand, I couldn't make her my gf with her doing that with a friend. She's slept with 4 other boys in our extended friendship group (whilst some other guys can see past this, I like a girl who is a bit harder to get). Secondly, I was moving away and she's stayed in our uni town. I'm having a fresh start and I know other girls have been interested in me (whom I've now left behind as I've moved back to London.

 

It hurts knowing she's with someone else and I feel like I've been played a bit. I'm not sure what she expected to happen...

 

...according to another friend they were unofficially going out at the time. I don't think x knows I got with his now gf.

 

I know view her as a little bit crazy (other people I've spoken to have told me she's nuts and to steer clear), which is a shame given we built up a great friendship.

 

After originally posting about this, I was looking forward to a nice, long-life friendship with her as we got along so well. I knew she'd probably get with x officially eventually, but knowing she liked me and I liked her but we didn't connect leaves a small hole of uncertainty which will now probably never be realised.

 

It's clear I'm hurt and I don't even feel like sleeping with anyone else right now. I basically had another girl on a plate if I wanted it toward the end of uni but I kept thinking what could have been with this other girl had I made a move. I think I'd rather be rejected as then I'd know she never ever wanted me, but it's the pure fact that she did. She still snapchats me but I try not reply as she should be concentrating on her bf and I don't think her feelings for me have disappeared; they can't have. It would therefore be inappropriate for me to continue messaging her as our connection is no longer platonic.

 

Before anyone ask, yes she was drunk, but this was planned and in any matter, she doesn't drink much so I know for a fact she was in control of her actions. After night 1, and what she said on night 2, her actions were planned.

Edited by objob1994
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