Belle88 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 My two closest friends are extremely co-dependent if their relationships or with men in general. Friend 1# is recently divorced and cannot stand to be alone. She uses guys to fill a void in her life and works her life around men. She has been in two relationships in the past 9 months and only when things aren't going well she reaches out and wants to be friends with me. A few weeks ago we had plans to have dinner and drinks which was her suggestion and she blew me off. I heard from her a few weeks later and wanted me to hang out with her. When I arrived to hang out with her she had just broken up with her boyfriend and was talking to another guy. I confronted her about how she always forgets about her friends when she has a guy in the picture and she apologized but admitted that is something she does quite often. Friend 2# I am closer to her and would consider her to be one of my best friends. When she is available she's a blast. We can shop, eat, drink, exercise or whatever. I've noticed over the years that she plans her whole life around her boyfriends. Currently she has been dating her bf for about a year and literally can only hang out when he is busy. The kicker is they practically live together so it's not like she isn't seeing him constantly. Last week she wanted to hang out and I agreed. When the day came I asked her if we could push our plans back one hour because I had just gotten home from work and wasn't feeling well and wanted to take some medicine and a long shower. She told me she couldn't change the time because she had a family obligation to babysit so I rushed to meet her. She rushed through our plans which was fine until her boyfriend called her and was mad that she wasn't ready. So she lied about having to babysit so she could hang out with her boyfriend. I am constantly flexible when she needs to change something or when she needs me. I'm just sick of my friends acting like this and I have no idea how to handle it. I myself have a boyfriend and a job and I manage to have time for friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I can't keep friends like that. I don't like being so far down the priority list. And just wait until they have kids. You'll never see them again unless it's to ask you to babysit or sit with them while they do. If they're not interested in me, I'm not interested in them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingForMyself Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I'm not sure if they are co dependent, but I'm almost certain that they value their boyfriends way more than you to a point where they callously up and leave you hanging. Those are not your friends. You are a convenient acquaintance to them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkbloom Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I have two friends like this. It's hard to consider them friends when you rank very low on their priority list. I would call that behavior selfish and inconsiderate regardless of their relationship status. I have decided to let those people go out of my life. I only want people who are going to place me at the top of their priority list. You will only be the top priority when their boys break up with them. And that sucks to be the conciliation friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I have the opposite problem. I have a young child and husband and have tried and tried with my friends. But it never eventuates. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 (edited) Sounds to me as if they've got Dr. Feelgood in the house... https://youtu.be/RKWD06PCBek?t=1m29s time to start telling these two "no" when they call to hang out. Edited April 9, 2015 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts