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Not sure I can trust my best friend anymore.


MusicMonkey111

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MusicMonkey111

Now I am partly to blame for all of this. Let me explain. On the 1st of Feb I moved towns to live with my best friend. We'd had problems pervious but she insisted things we okay now. She had a boyfriend and was growing out of her childish ways (she's 19 almost 20). On the second day of me being there she made the joke that her boyfriend and I would make a cute couple. This freaked him out to the point where he question there relationship because she had told him weeks earlier she wasn't sure if she loved him or saw him as just a friend. It didn't help that I was crushing on him. Day 3 he breaks up with her after another one of her daily fights and he ends up asking me out. I said yes. So now I'm dating my best friends ex.

 

Fast forward 5 days and my friends standing in the kitchen threatening to kill herself. Not knowing what to do my boyfriend calls her grandparents and she is moved out of the house. Before this incident and pretty much everyday since she's either messaged me or messaged or called my boyfriend and stated with the what we call poor me's. She started with things like I still love Jesse and I wish he was still with me then turned to pretty much stalking my boyfriend and wanting it know his every move while making it clear to me I'm in her spot.

 

3 weeks after my boyfriend left her for me she started dating someone else. We have never met this guy and we've only talked to him through text. When we asked to phone him he says his busy.

 

Recently I had a pregnancy scare and every time my friends been over since she's always stared at my belly. She's also being using this boyfriend of hers to try to make me jealous I guess, just through things she says.

 

Tonight she said she 'remembered' she wasn't a virgin and had actually slept with a guy when she was 12 and 'didn't know what sex was'. When I asked her why she remember she said she 'ran into him and he started taking about it and I remembered it all'.

 

She has lied to me so many times I'm not sure if I should believe her. I know this is kinda my fault I probably deserve it but I just want to know if she is lying to make me jealous or feel bad and try to make me break up with my boyfriend.

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So you moved in with your bf and then almost immediately started a relationship with her bf who then broke up with her to be with you and you wonder if you can trust her? That's kind of funny.

 

 

Personally I wouldn't date an ex of my best friend unless it has been years since they had broken up and my friend assured me that she was completely okay with it and totally over and done with the guy. But to start dating a guy who just dumped my best friend and roommate. No freaking way.

 

 

Your best friend sounds a little dramatic and unstable but that doesn't excuse your behavior. She isn't the one who moved into your house and then started dating your boyfriend the moment he dumped you. I'm not sure what you think she is lying about. I think you are trying to find fault with her and paint her as a bad friend to cover up your own disloyalty to your friendship.

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What were you thinking dating your BFF/roommate's EX a whole 72 hours after they split? If anything I'd say she can't trust you.

 

 

As for her drama, stay out of it. If you genuinely say she is suicidal call the police & an ambulance

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MusicMonkey111
So you moved in with your bf and then almost immediately started a relationship with her bf who then broke up with her to be with you and you wonder if you can trust her? That's kind of funny.

 

 

Personally I wouldn't date an ex of my best friend unless it has been years since they had broken up and my friend assured me that she was completely okay with it and totally over and done with the guy. But to start dating a guy who just dumped my best friend and roommate. No freaking way.

 

 

Your best friend sounds a little dramatic and unstable but that doesn't excuse your behavior. She isn't the one who moved into your house and then started dating your boyfriend the moment he dumped you. I'm not sure what you think she is lying about. I think you are trying to find fault with her and paint her as a bad friend to cover up your own disloyalty to your friendship.

 

She actually did say she was fine with it. They sat down and had a talk about it and she said we had her blessing. She was struggling to stay with him anyway because he was pushing her have sex and she didn't want to because I quote 'I'm saving my self for the man I want to spend the rest of my life with'. Then tonight says she's not a virgin because she slept with a guy when she was 12.

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If she gave you "her blessing" take it by make Herculean efforts not to throw your new relationship in her face, i.e. keep him out of your house as much as possible & do not discuss your romance with her.

 

 

As for her sexual status / choice, that is hers. Do not discuss it with outsiders. Just leave her to her own decisions.

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MusicMonkey111
If she gave you "her blessing" take it by make Herculean efforts not to throw your new relationship in her face, i.e. keep him out of your house as much as possible & do not discuss your romance with her.

 

 

As for her sexual status / choice, that is hers. Do not discuss it with outsiders. Just leave her to her own decisions.

 

My boyfriend lives with me and she no longer lives here so she sees nothing of the relationship and only ever comes around when his not home for the most part.

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Lots going on here. First of all, if she actually told you and her bf you'd make a cute couple and this was all on the cusp of them breaking up, something in her subconscious made her open that door. Of course, it would have been better to agree with the guy to give this whole thing a few weeks or months to resolve or calm down, which I think we can all agree on, but I remember being young and things just happen quickly at your age.

 

Your friend is just now remembering some sexual abuse. So she has some mental issues that came from supressing that. You need to make sure that whoever has the most influence on her, her parents, hopefully, are aware of this and ask them to see that she goes to therapy. She really can't have a good relationship anyway until she deals with the sexual abuse. Meanwhile, do not flaunt this relationship in front of her. Don't bring him around her. Don't be surprised if they reunite when you're not looking either and if they do, stay out of it.

 

But make sure you let her parents or an older sibling she respects know about her remembering this abuse because she'll need help on that.

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Lots going on here. First of all, if she actually told you and her bf you'd make a cute couple and this was all on the cusp of them breaking up, something in her subconscious made her open that door. Of course, it would have been better to agree with the guy to give this whole thing a few weeks or months to resolve or calm down, which I think we can all agree on, but I remember being young and things just happen quickly at your age.

 

Your friend is just now remembering some sexual abuse. So she has some mental issues that came from supressing that. You need to make sure that whoever has the most influence on her, her parents, hopefully, are aware of this and ask them to see that she goes to therapy. She really can't have a good relationship anyway until she deals with the sexual abuse. Meanwhile, do not flaunt this relationship in front of her. Don't bring him around her. Don't be surprised if they reunite when you're not looking either and if they do, stay out of it.

 

But make sure you let her parents or an older sibling she respects know about her remembering this abuse because she'll need help on that.

 

I can't really tell anyone because she we'll flat out deny it to all of them and insist I'm lying as she has done every other time I've tried to help her. As for the relationship it's pretty much all behind closed doors as my parents have many problems with him I mean I'm 22 and his 25 not to mention we're both looking at moving back to my home town so I can be closer to my grandmother should she need me.

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She actually did say she was fine with it. They sat down and had a talk about it and she said we had her blessing. She was struggling to stay with him anyway because he was pushing her have sex and she didn't want to because I quote 'I'm saving my self for the man I want to spend the rest of my life with'. Then tonight says she's not a virgin because she slept with a guy when she was 12.

 

 

I think your friends biggest problem is that she is confused by her conflicting feelings about you getting together with her bf immediately after you moved in with her. In her naivety she still wants you to be her friend and wants you in her life but somewhere deep down in her gut she knows she was betrayed by you and that this was wrong. So she sends out confusing signals and mixed messages. She says she is okay with you hooking up with her bf because she feels like she has to be okay with it if she wants to stay friends with you but then she takes digs at you because she is rightfully angry about your disloyalty. If she were a little more mature and experienced she would realize that you were not a loyal and good friend and she would make a clean break from both you and her creepy exbf.

 

 

I'm sorry but I just can't imagine a situation where I would be moving in with my best friend and then within three days start messing around with her bf. Even if my best friend said she hated the guy and she was the one who dumped him I wouldn't do it, simply because when there is a break up then the ex needs to just go away. Your friends biggest problem is that she is not fully processing what a nasty thing you two did to her.

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My boyfriend lives with me and she no longer lives here so she sees nothing of the relationship and only ever comes around when his not home for the most part.

 

 

It's not even April. You started dating this guy in February but you already live with him?

 

 

MusicMonkey111 -- you are your own worst enemy here. You make snap decisions. You admit your parents don't like him. I suspect they don't like the speed at which your relationship is "progressing."

 

 

Now you are talking about moving back even though you have only been there for less than 90 days. Again more rash, poorly thought through decisions.

 

 

You need to take some serious stock in yourself.

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Folks, unfortunately we had a member using duplicate accounts to post in the same thread so we'll thank everyone for their contributions and close this up.

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