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"one topic" friends?


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so there's this girl I have known her whole life. Her parents are my next door neighbors and they're friends with my parents so the girl and I have been well were sort of trying to be friends too.

 

I've been to visit her, she's been to visit me. Thing is, she only has one topic to do anything or talk about - anime. I've tried to get into it, but can't. It's not my thing. So I have other interests. It's to the point now where I can't go to her house because all she does and talks about is anime stuff. All she watches is anime. all she talks about is anime. If I say hi to her on fb she won't try to discuss anything else other than anime topics. But if I don't have anything to say, she gets mad because I don't respond. If I try to talk about news or anything else she won't talk. she switches it back to anime. I don't know anything about anime and don't have any interest in it.

 

I wouldn't mind her talking about anime sometimes if she talks about other things as well. But she doesn't. and then gets mad because I have nothing to say. It's been this way as long as I've known her.

 

I have interests too, but I am able to talk about many things - and not just my own interests. And I don't talk with people about my interests if they have no interest. I don't get it. This girl doesn't seem to be a bad girl, so I really don't understand this.

 

What should I do? What would you do about this? I'd like some advice.

 

And have any of you had a person like this, and what did you do about it?

 

Signed,

 

"Needing Advice"

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You need to tell her something polite like, Wow you're really into this anime stuff. I'm glad you have a hobby you like, but I've got to tell you it puts me to sleep. Could we talk about something else?

 

I actually quit a paranormal meetup group because two girls (a couple) joined and completely hijacked the group talking about childish crap. I kept thinking eventually the group leader would tell them to get back on subject, but it never happened and I was just snoozing, so I just quit.

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She sounds like she might be to some degree Autistic. Maybe.

 

"Limited range of interests: A child with Asperger's syndrome may develop an intense, almost obsessive, interest in a few areas, such as sports schedules, weather, or maps."

 

Read me.

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Yes, it does seem something is amiss with her. Autism spectrum, OCD......I don't know but hopefully there is another girl nearby. I don't see this ever going anywhere.

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Every time she starts to talk about it, hold her mouth shut with your fingers and say "Talk about something else." Just keep doing it until she talks about something else. If she can't talk about anything else, I wouldn't stick around, that's for sure.

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I told her. Didn't work.

 

How exactly did you tell her? She doesn't seem very socially aware and might not be able to take hints. So if you sugarcoated it too much, it may have gone right over her head. You have to be really direct. Tell her plainly but kindly that you're not into anime and that you don't enjoy having conversations about it.

 

I think that's the main point you should try to make - that you don't like talking about it. Then if she continues, it will be clear that she's incapable of being your friend or even a decent social acquaintance.

 

But if you really, really want to try hard to be her friend for whatever reason, either learn to live with it, or there are a few things you can try, like finding one anime that you can tolerate. Or maybe you can try getting her into a different kind of series altogether, like Breaking Bad, Dexter, The Sopranos. These come to mind because they are absolutely engrossing (for the most part) and you can really get addicted to them, if you're into that sort of thing. Maybe something sci-fi/fantasy would be more up her alley, but I have no recommendations for you there.

 

Honestly, I can't imagine a more boring thing to talk about than anime and I personally wouldn't put much effort into a friendship with someone who won't shut up about it. But if it were expected of me because of familial obligations, then I guess I'd just hang out with her and read a book or something. Or maybe nap.

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I like anime, but there are a few friends I lost contact with after high school because they could talk about nothing else.

 

If a direct request doesn't work, perhaps your friendship has just reached its natural end.

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How exactly did you tell her? She doesn't seem very socially aware and might not be able to take hints. So if you sugarcoated it too much, it may have gone right over her head. You have to be really direct. Tell her plainly but kindly that you're not into anime and that you don't enjoy having conversations about it.

 

I think that's the main point you should try to make - that you don't like talking about it. Then if she continues, it will be clear that she's incapable of being your friend or even a decent social acquaintance.

 

But if you really, really want to try hard to be her friend for whatever reason, either learn to live with it, or there are a few things you can try, like finding one anime that you can tolerate. Or maybe you can try getting her into a different kind of series altogether, like Breaking Bad, Dexter, The Sopranos. These come to mind because they are absolutely engrossing (for the most part) and you can really get addicted to them, if you're into that sort of thing. Maybe something sci-fi/fantasy would be more up her alley, but I have no recommendations for you there.

 

Honestly, I can't imagine a more boring thing to talk about than anime and I personally wouldn't put much effort into a friendship with someone who won't shut up about it. But if it were expected of me because of familial obligations, then I guess I'd just hang out with her and read a book or something. Or maybe nap.

 

I told her what you said here. I don't hide anything (I don't do passive agressive ****) but i am nice about it. She has lots of other anime friends she can talk to.

 

But ...it didn't work.

 

so Now I came here to ask what do I do now?

 

:(

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If she's that goofed up, not much you can do. Can she be distracted by activities? Like will she go skate or anything physical?

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Not really. I tried hanging out at her house lots of times. But she's never wanted to do anything but only anime stuff. Only 1 time in the 27 years I have known her (cause she is almost 27 and I'm ten years older and because our parents were friends and next door neighbors, I have know her since she was born) and all those years I think only one time I got her to watch something non anime (a movie I own) and basically that's all she ever did.

 

So no I never asked her do anything else cause if that's how she is just hanging at her house and on fb........

 

I dread when she even says hi on fb. Like I can`t stand her but stuck around for 27 years almost.

 

Do you think I should take her off fb and end it? I haven't been to her house in about a year and a half maybe. I don't go there anymore our only contact now is fb.

 

Should I end the contact?

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