Flaky Friend

[emmajane77]

I have a best friend from school who I have been back in contact with for the last 4 years. Looking back over the last few years I have noticed that it seems to be me who is putting a lot more into the relationship than she is. There were times in the past when I really needed a friends ear and I sometimes used to text and she used to leave it maybe a week or two or not reply at all. This happened several times so I would then leave it and speak to other friends and then she would suddenly text about a night out or something like that and be her old self again.

 

She got married about a year ago and things became good and she stayed in contact a lot and we texted quite a lot and we were both excited about the wedding, but now I wonder if she was in contact so much because I helped to organize her wedding. Now things have gone back to normal where she will be in contact if she fancies a night out but apart from that I don't hear from her.

 

 

I moved abroad to France a year ago and visit home occasionally for work. When I have seen her she always says I wanted to do this but you weren't here to go with me and then I feel bad for being away. Recently I have tried to maintain a relationship by e-mail but there has been nothing back. I asked if she wanted to do something over my birthday but she just ignored it, and then I saw she had people over. In the past I have also made other arrangements to go out to somewhere nice and she always says OK and then at last minute she says she can't afford it and then we end sitting in with her husband. She also keeps saying she is going to come over to see me but never makes the arrangements. She also makes plans in the future about doing things but it never happens.

 

When she invited me to her house lately I normally stay the night and then she makes some excuse in the morning for me to go really early and we never really do anything in the day. It just seems like we drink together. The last few times her husband has been there and so I feel uncomfortable talking about private things to her as I feel as if I can't confide in her about anything. I love her but thinking about it she hasn't been there a lot of the times I needed her but I have always there for her. Sometimes I feel I am taken advantage of but maybe she doesn't realise. I feel torn as I do enjoy her company and is good as a social friend but it seems like it is always on her terms. I also feel that the longer I am abroad the less we have in common. It used to be as soon as she used to text again I was there for her again but maybe I should treat her as she treats me. Not sure what to do?

Edited February 24, 2015 by emmajane77