Jump to content

best friend causes all others to pale in comparison


simplicity1

Recommended Posts

When you have a balanced network of people, each person brings their own qualities and emotions. You can value many people at once for different reasons.

 

I'm falling into a situation where I'm overwhelmed by how awesome this one friend is. It's making it harder and harder to appreciate anyone else. Her awesomeness and our ability to engage in such incredible conversations just makes everyone else (even those who seemed interesting in the past) straight up mediocre. The feeling is largely reciprocated by her.

 

I'm SO fortunate to have met her, but I can feel that this is an extremely dangerous state of mind to be in because I'm losing my ability to appreciate other things :( Any advice?

Link to post
Share on other sites

You have a friend crush. Probably it will wane a bit over time. She'll become repetitious and it won't all be fresh anymore. If she's a new friend, just be careful not to betray the confidences of your other friends just because you feel so close to her, and include them into your activities rather than cutting them out.

 

I can speak from both sides in a way. A best friend of mine latched onto a new girl and didn't inlclude her other friends into the fold and also told her things she hadn't earned the right to know yet, and then that new girl was indiscreet. It didn't go down well.

 

On the other side of the coin, I fell into an intense new friendship that got out of hand. When I'd met the girl she had just impulsively married a sailor while on vacation, one she had only just met, and came to me for advice because I was the only one in the dorm who wasn't telling her it was a brilliant idea. She got it annulled. Then we had this very intense friendship, but then she confessed she was in love with me and also just had some bad issues and had gotten mixed up in some seedy things and it all ended rather badly with her stalking me for a time, following me to a new job, etc.

 

Just pace yourself and don't forget to let her earn your trust, that's all.

Link to post
Share on other sites
todreaminblue

thats a hard situation to be in simplicity.....i think its good to have balance.....so even though you find this person to be awesomeness incarnate....you must balance it by spending time with others.....by finding their wonderful qualities as well...if you set a person apart and put all your time and effort into that person.....then you will be disappointed....the pedestals we have for ornaments are not meant for people......there is no perfect person......

 

there are many wonderful imperfect people......i write poetry...its often about people or a person where i can list a hundred or more wonderful qualities that person has.......the reality is i choose not to write the flaws...i will highlight the attributes.......gloss over the flaws.......

 

 

i prefer positive qualities over negatives...i prefer to concentrate on them..

 

 

then in realism and logic..the rationale over the dreamer wins out......i will see their flaws and feel disappointed..........but this is where balance lies......i see the flaws i see the beauty....and i dont see it one person......i see what see...i choose which i want to keep afloat.....

 

balance is good......try to balance time and effort with your other friends.....put as much effort into your interactions that you have with others as you do with your bestest bud...and treasure them all...most of us all have someone we enjoy spending time with more for whatever reason but there does need to be balance....or when that friend disappears or moves on.....you have that loss......that cant be consoled or replaced......deb

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...