heytheregirl Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 My best friend (who is also female) has lots of male friends, one of her other best friends (female) dated one of her male friends and he broke it off. Since then he has proceeded to make friendly conversation with me (nothing flirtatious) I told her about him chatting with me as we talk about everything. She immediately got mad and told me how uncomfortable she was with it, saying that we're using each other for attention and that she was mad. Was I wrong for replying to him? I feel like whatever happened between her friends is nothing to do with either of us and I shouldn't have to ignore someone for something that has nothing to do with me. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Overall no, I would say that there is nothing wrong with you communicating with the guy if you are both single. However I feel like there is more to this story... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 ^ Me too. In general, though, if you meet a friend through a close friend and the close friend has strong feelings that they do not want to complicate things, I think it would be nice to honor their wishes. She may have legitimate reasons, like knowing a secret. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heytheregirl Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 I have just got out of a relationship (if you could call it that) and so has he. She has slept with this person before but has told me how they're just friends and always will be, she had no problem with her other friend dating him, so why would it be such an issue if we exchanged conversation? I just don't understand the whole different rules for different people part. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 The general rule is don't date your friends ex. That is basically a well known rule of thumb. Maybe she doesn't care if he is dating someone she knows/isn't close with - but because you and her are closer, she would expect that you show loyalty to her and not be flirting or dating him. Too many men in the world to lose friends over them. Having a close good friend will last way longer than these men who come and go. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 (edited) My best friend (who is also female) has lots of male friends, one of her other best friends (female) dated one of her male friends and he broke it off. Since then he has proceeded to make friendly conversation with me (nothing flirtatious) I told her about him chatting with me as we talk about everything. She immediately got mad and told me how uncomfortable she was with it, saying that we're using each other for attention and that she was mad. Was I wrong for replying to him? I feel like whatever happened between her friends is nothing to do with either of us and I shouldn't have to ignore someone for something that has nothing to do with me. Thoughts? Your friend sounds crazy. Her comfort has nothing to do with you and him having a dang conversation. Dang--you're just talking to the guy, not flirting, not having sex. She slept with him. That doesn't mean they had a relationship. It just means they had sex. Apparently, there wasn't enough there between them outside of the bedroom to hold together the involvement to where a relationship could develop, else he would be her boyfriend and not one of her 'male friends'. Oh well... No--you aren't her child. You can reply to him to your heart's content--it's none of her business what you do. This might be a good sign for you to not put her up in your business because it appears she doesn't know how to act. Edited February 17, 2015 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Not sure why she was OK with her other best friend dating him yet is upset about you talking to him. She may have a secret with him, that she doesn't want him to share with you or you know stuff about her that she is scared you tell him about. Or she still likes him more than she says (he perhaps suggested they just be friends) and she knows he likes you and if you get close you will date and she doesn't want that. Link to post Share on other sites
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