sportygirl89 Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) I am debating on whether or not I should stop being friends with her. Supposedly I said something to our best friend to not want to be friends with (I was sick and heavily medicated at the time), and I did apologize if I offended her with anything. Last time we hung out was like June 2013. This other girl and I are still friends. But I wouldn't say we were as close except for when we were a trio with the best friend. It's interesting on occasion I say I want to mend the friendship between me and the girl who used to be my best friend (but is still our friend's best friend). She gets mad that I want to work things out and if I try to ask her what's the best way to approach the friend, she gets angry. It's almost as if she wants to keep the best friend title. I've never spoken negatively of the ex friend. To me and the girl we don't have much in common. I might see my friend on occasion when she comes home, but I always have to do the initiating or she probably wouldn't hang out otherwise. I feel like since our best friend is no longer in the picture with the three of us, there really isn't much left. I have my one college best friend (who lives four hours away) and got involved in this new group meeting people. While I feel like I'm starting to out grow my long term friends, I feel like there's better out there for me. It's sad I feel like I out grow my long term friends. Would you let this friend go? Edited February 14, 2015 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 To still carry a grudge over something said in june 2013 is just pathetic IMO. As for the numbskull that gets angry because you want to try and fix it ,(even though you've already aplogized and a bigger person would've forgiven by now) ditch her, you really don't need friends like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 (edited) To still carry a grudge over something said in june 2013 is just pathetic IMO. As for the numbskull that gets angry because you want to try and fix it ,(even though you've already aplogized and a bigger person would've forgiven by now) ditch her, you really don't need friends like that. Thanks for a while I felt like a bad person. I did everything in my power to apologize the old best friend wouldn't acknowledge it. I didn't even know what I did to offend her to stop talking to me. The two girls see each other when they're back in town, don't tell me about it then I see it on facebook. I feel like a real friend wouldn't have to hide something or cover it up. My still friend would say she would stay in to do homework (we're in our 20s) but really she would be out with her best friend (my ex best friend). Edited February 14, 2015 by sportygirl89 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Thanks for a while I felt like a bad person. I did everything in my power to apologize the old best friend wouldn't acknowledge it. I didn't even know what I did to offend her to stop talking to me. The two girls see each other when they're back in town, don't tell me about it then I see it on facebook. I feel like a real friend wouldn't have to hide something or cover it up. My still friend would say she would stay in to do homework (we're in our 20s) but really she would be out with her best friend (my ex best friend). Sounds like you've grown up and these girls are yet to. You'll make new friends as you journey through the next stages of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 Sounds like you've grown up and these girls are yet to. You'll make new friends as you journey through the next stages of your life. Just sucks I've nearly had to let go of a long term friendship for one reason or another. I always hear stories at peoples weddings how their best friends they've known since they were 8. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted February 14, 2015 Share Posted February 14, 2015 Just sucks I've nearly had to let go of a long term friendship for one reason or another. I always hear stories at peoples weddings how their best friends they've known since they were 8. It does suck losing friends. It does free up room for new friends though. My oldest, closest friend. I met at my first job when I was 18.(I'm now 43.) I fell out with a friend I'd known since age 7, at age 32. It hurt like hell at the time, but as I spent time reflecting on our friendship over the year's, I realized she really wasn't all that good a friend after all. I don't miss her drama's one bit and I met another lady who became a very close friend soon after this. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 You don't have to stop being friends with your best friend, just take a step back and widen your circle of friends. Be open to meeting new people and forming new friendships. Both of these friends do sound immature but they may mature in a few years. I still consider my best friend from grade 9 a very close friend but our friendship went through a lot of changes and a lot of ups and downs over the years. Sometimes our lives were on completely different paths and so we struggled to find common ground. For example I had kids much earlier than she did so I was a mom and tied down with kids while she was still living wild, free and single. Our friendship went through a huge change at that time. Other times we would have a minor falling out and just not speak to each other for a while. Friendships can go through rocky times but sometimes they come out stronger in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 You don't have to stop being friends with your best friend, just take a step back and widen your circle of friends. Be open to meeting new people and forming new friendships. Both of these friends do sound immature but they may mature in a few years. I still consider my best friend from grade 9 a very close friend but our friendship went through a lot of changes and a lot of ups and downs over the years. Sometimes our lives were on completely different paths and so we struggled to find common ground. For example I had kids much earlier than she did so I was a mom and tied down with kids while she was still living wild, free and single. Our friendship went through a huge change at that time. Other times we would have a minor falling out and just not speak to each other for a while. Friendships can go through rocky times but sometimes they come out stronger in the end. I didn't want to stop being friends with her. She apparently got offended by something I said. I apologized as I was extremely sick medical wise at the time. This other friend honestly never reached out. I always had to ask her to go do things. While I'm saddened by ending things with this girl as I know it means a portion of good memories has been closed. I don't need that stress or drama. This other friend even told me one day I wasn't asking enough me questions to her. She never did that to me either. I guess she was always wanting constant validation. I'm in an intense grad program (so I sometimes forget I even have friends at times, not that I want to). My newer friends who grad students seem to be understanding of the demands of my program. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Let it go. A friendship of 3 girls rarely works out. two of the three usually end up much closer in that scenario. Stop apologizing, stop bringing up x friend to other friend and start meeting new people. Sometimes, people we knew in our teens are not the people we hang out with in our later years. It is what it is...you just have to let go and not let this bother you. When they have a fight, one or the other will then call you and want to drag you into their drama. Best to step away now so that you can avoid that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Let it go. A friendship of 3 girls rarely works out. two of the three usually end up much closer in that scenario. Stop apologizing, stop bringing up x friend to other friend and start meeting new people. Sometimes, people we knew in our teens are not the people we hang out with in our later years. It is what it is...you just have to let go and not let this bother you. When they have a fight, one or the other will then call you and want to drag you into their drama. Best to step away now so that you can avoid that. I did, but why would the fight two years have the girl completely stop talking me? I mean I understand she doesn't want to be friends. But I feel that the friend started the fight is kind of being petty? I haven't said anything to the ex friend in a while. I rarely talk to new ex friend about her as is, unless it's referring back to a good memory. But I'm meeting people left and right so it's good. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I wouldnt let anyone ever dictate to me through anger or any other emotion they felt, not to befriend someone...thats selfishly motivated on that persons behalf and not to be trusted....they arent thinking about me they arent thinking about the other person even they are thinking about what they want .........or would i not make friends with someone who i had wronged.....and wanted to continue a friendship with...i make my own decisions i will not eb influenced by selfishness........as you should...search your heart be true to what you want and that includes making or repairing friendships...i feel that you should repair the friendship....but that is my opinion because i am not motivated to tell you otherwise......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 I wouldnt let anyone ever dictate to me through anger or any other emotion they felt, not to befriend someone...thats selfishly motivated on that persons behalf and not to be trusted....they arent thinking about me they arent thinking about the other person even they are thinking about what they want .........or would i not make friends with someone who i had wronged.....and wanted to continue a friendship with...i make my own decisions i will not eb influenced by selfishness........as you should...search your heart be true to what you want and that includes making or repairing friendships...i feel that you should repair the friendship....but that is my opinion because i am not motivated to tell you otherwise......deb The ex best friend was very selfish. If drama didn't revolve around her, she would kick out the person. She did this to one of our other friends. She went as far to say that the girl would come to their apartment and watch her boyfriend (I don't know if that ever happened, she supposedly liked her boyfriend). But see what I mean by all the drama? I'm just glad I'm done with it. I just am curious to know why the ex best friend stopped talking to me. I think I come across as more honest, then harsh and I think some girls misinterpret that as harsh. Link to post Share on other sites
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