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Can't seem to let go


Lost.in.Life

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There's this girl I was best friends with for 20 years (I'm 36 now), went through tons of ups and downs. She's a very needy and selfish person. I dealt with it. I've gone through a lot with this girl. When we were about 23, my husband and I were separated, I had my 4 year old, and her and I worked together. I got accused of stealing money and was fired. Found out sometime near the end of summer 2013 that SHE had stolen that money and let me get fired. She laughed as she told me this. I didn't, neither did my husband. But I tried to let it go. In May of 2014 my 8 yr old has a condition that landed us in the hospital. We were there 3 weeks. I stayed the whole time while my husband stayed home with the other 2 kids. Her ex husband is our friend and he was living with us at the time. She was dating a loser who constantly stole $ (had felonies pending ) and stole her kids ADHD med all the time. While in the hospital one morning, she Facebook msgs me and tells me she did something stupid and needs advice. Proceeds to tell me she was at my house the night before with my husband, her ex, her kids and my 16 year old. She got drunk, slept with her ex on my couch. I was livid. About a week later when we went home, I avoided her. Turned down offers to hang out, didn't text. She shows up one afternoon while we are all hanging out back and demands to know what's up with us (With attitude ). Told her I needed some time to sort through my feelings, that I'm upset over what happened, that it was disrespectful and I just need some time. She got pissy and said "since you never text anyways I guess you're ending this" and stormed off. A week later I'm deleted off social media. She made the decision to end it in my opinion, I just needed time. Was I wrong? Now she is telling her ex I was a pretend friend, and that I could forgive him but not her. She didn't give me a chance and SHE was my best friend, not him. I know she's an unapproachable and irrational person, but I still can't help but want to reach out. Why?? Should I try or just leave it alone. I know she used to make me angry, but the way it ended just bugs me....help! I don't really want the friendship we had, but hate the feeling of it being unresolved in a way.

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I say good riddance to bad rubbish.

 

She's a lying thief who stood by and laughed as you took the blame and lost your means of income for something you didn't do and you're worried about her friendship? Really?

 

She and her ex need to get out of your life.

 

I have a real problem with people using my house for a brothel, especially when your kids could have walked in on them screwing on the living room sofa.

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You're absolutely right. I know I don't need her in my life, I guess after 20 years it's just really hard to not go back. Especially when you've moved to a new area and don't know a single person. I know she's not a good person, so I'm guessing it's just loneliness and habit (I used to always go back after every single stupid fight or ultimatum). I've been fighting the urge to try again, because I know how it will be. I guess I just need to hear others say it's not worth it too. Thanks!

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CrystalShine2011

I would say it's time to leave the friendship in the past. It sounds like the two of you are on different wave lengths when it comes to morals and what it means to be a friend. Surround yourself with positive people and it will make a huge difference. :)

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