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Feeling guilty but have no regrets


crazycanuck86

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crazycanuck86

Back in October I ended a friendship with someone I've known for over 12 years. To make a long story short she pretty much took all the friendship I've given her and dropped kicked it out the window because she was "considering her husband in her life" that's as far into the details I will go because frankly it dosnt matter any more. When I ended our friendship I pretty much purposely set it up to inflict as much emotional hurt as possable, not out of revenge or anger but because I needed to let go of all the hurt, pain and hearrbrake she caused me and the only way I could do that I was to let go of everything and I felt it was something I needed to do at the time.

 

Still she was my friend once and a good one at that, and I still had to hurt her to move on with my life and that's what I feel guilty about. The messed up thing is I don't regret doing it, because it was something I had to do for me. Thank you all for listening I guess the core of the matter is I just miss my friend. :(

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WonderWoman911

Hopefully the two of you can rekindle the friendship in the future. Twelve years of a friendship is a very long time. You miss her and I'm sure she misses you too. She probably had to focus on her marriage if it was being neglected.

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CrystalShine2011

Perhaps in the future? Give it some time and then check back in, I'm sure she misses you too. Sometimes people need space.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was wondering how things panned out here.

Ive been so broken by the loss of a great friendship. A guy who was a former colleage and friend for even a few years longer than the two of you dropped me out of his life. The hurt to my heart, the buckets of tears I cried, the pleading emails to understand, its all just really heartbreaking and I would have given anything just to have talked it out with him.

Don't you want to save your friendship?

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crazycanuck86
I was wondering how things panned out here.

Ive been so broken by the loss of a great friendship. A guy who was a former colleage and friend for even a few years longer than the two of you dropped me out of his life. The hurt to my heart, the buckets of tears I cried, the pleading emails to understand, its all just really heartbreaking and I would have given anything just to have talked it out with him.

Don't you want to save your friendship?

 

The hard truth is yes I do want to save our friendship but after over a year of trying to contact her and only getting the cold shoulder or her blowing up at me I don't think its possible.

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She probably had a husband who caused her so much grief when she tried to see her friends that it wasn't worth it. I lost one that way. He'd get drunk when I came to town and just make it not worth it to her to visit me. It's their own fault for putting up with that abusive treatment, if that's what happened, because isolation is the first thing abusers try to do, so it's really important not to even let them get started doing that. If not, then it was her just being fickle. So either way, you did the right thing. But I know you miss her. I miss mine too, but I'm really mad at her for not being woman enough to juggle both a husband and a good old friend, because you know what? That's LAME.

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