Reaching out to ex-friends.. or let things die?

[PinkCarnations]

I don't know what it is about tonight, but I feel an urge to reach out to my old friends who I had a falling out with. I used to have a group of girlfriends (3) that I was pretty close with, but we had a falling out about 2-3 years ago. We blocked each other on all social media platforms. The 3 of them are still friends, which is why I have not wanted to contact them, because I know they all talk crap about me to each other. I just felt like there was a lot of miscommunication, immaturity (being young 20 something year olds back then) which led to the falling out, but I've grown up a lot up since then, and I feel my personality has changed to be more tolerant of theirs.

 

I've moved to a new city since I've really talked to them, but I feel kinda lonely because I haven't really been able to make new close girlfriends.. and it makes me miss the friendship I used to have.

 

Do you think I should reach out to them? Is that weird, and how would you feel if you were on the receiving end? Sometimes I look back at the last conversation I had with one of them, and I just felt like she was really mean to me, and me messaging her will only boost her ego and encourage her to think that she could always get her way, if you know what I mean.

 

Anyways, so not worth it or nothing to lose??

[whichwayisup]

Put effort into making new friends and forget those 3. It's been too long and they haven't been in your life at all. Leave it in the past and whatever you do, don't reach out to any of them. They are cruel and no way will this go well for you. If anything, it'll cause drama and possible pain for you that you don't need in your life.

 

There is nothing to salvage with them. They've moved on, none of them has made contact with you since the friendship ended, so it's easy to assume they aren't interested in renewing anything with you.

[CrystalShine2011]

I'm the same way, I like to reach out after a couple years and smooth things out. It has REALLY helped me. It helps even if it's a quick "we had some good times, and I'm sorry it went sour" conversation, because it was no longer on my chest.

 

I do think new friends are a good idea, reach out at work or other places with like minded people. But it's always good to close off past relationships or friendships in a positive way.

[PinkCarnations]

I'm the same way, I like to reach out after a couple years and smooth things out. It has REALLY helped me. It helps even if it's a quick "we had some good times, and I'm sorry it went sour" conversation, because it was no longer on my chest.

 

I do think new friends are a good idea, reach out at work or other places with like minded people. But it's always good to close off past relationships or friendships in a positive way.

 

Thanks for the feedback. I don't know what it is about us girls but we tend to be really catty towards each other, so when a friendship breaks apart, it breaks apart BADLY. I decided to send a text to one of the girls. The message didn't really call for a response but it does serve to apologize for past misunderstandings, and let bygones be bygones. Me and her may never be friends again, but at least i got things off my chest and maybe things won't be so hostile or awkward if I ever see her again. There was another friend I broke off with when I was 15. I was actually cruel to her. I kept seeing her popped up on my Instagram and saw all the things she was doing and interested in. It reminded me of our early middle school friendship and how we had similar aspirations. I decided to message her on facebook as well. She responded very positively and added me as a friend.

 

I guess reaching out wasn't such a bad idea. I feel like I made peace with myself and holding on to petty grudges serves no purpose except making me feel unhappy about the past. Don't know where things go from here but at least being able to connect with them on facebook or social media is a good start.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I would reach out, but with no expectations and if you have any fault in what happens own up to it, whatever the outcome I think it's better to not leave bad stuff behind if we can help it. You might not get your friendships back though.

[ExtraSpice]

I have had the same question on my mind lately. I felt like I was lacking dearly in friends. So I wanted to make some more friends. However, what I have come to realize is that it is much harder to make friends when you get older. Esp when you are not exactly a social butterfly, which I am not.

 

So I was wondering whether it is best to reach out to friends from the past that had grown apart either due to small quarrels or lack of contact.

 

Well I decided to do both but reaching out was easier so I did that first. I texted an old friend which I had roomed with but things got sour near the end. She responded and seemed to not mind. Are we friends again, not really. But it is a start, if it doesn't lead anywhere so be it. But I am trying to make new friends also.

 

As for me I do not hold grudges so if someone form the past were to reach out to me I would welcome it!

[Sugarkane]

They sound toxic and catty. They all remained friends and ostracized you. Been there, done that. I wouldn't bother with them.

[sportygirl89]

I had a group of friends that were flakey. They only had me around to talk about me. They stopped talking to me for a while, and gave an excuse. I stupidly let them come back and did the same exact them except worse. I have no interest in being friends with them now.

 

I have my one best friend from college and even though she may be like 4 hours away and she still is 100% honest with me and still there for me. She is all I need. .

 

I've joined social groups and am starting to make new friends so its getting better. You will feel like you have no one, but when these new friends come along you'll like them much better (and none of the drama) I promise!