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Should I give up on potential friend?

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Old 7th December 2014, 7:36 PM   #1
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 12
Should I give up on potential friend?

I met this really cool girl when I was an intern. I did ask her out and found out she had a boyfriend. However, I still feel like shes a friend worth having just because shes a wonderful person and we have many interests in common. We connect on the same level. Weve kept in touch through text after I stopped working there. I really felt like we were becoming more than acquaintances. She let me know about job opportunities and helped me edit my cover letters. Ive helped her tutor in English and it really felt like we were becoming closer. Weve tried to get together for lunch but it just hasnt happened due to our busy schedules and the fact that we live an hour apart. If we dont talk for a couple weeks, one of us would send the other a text to see how they're doing.

However, recently, we have been texting less and less frequently. Shes taken longer to respond to my texts. I know shes not the best texter as shes done so in the past but something just feels different. Last week, I asked her if we could try to get together for lunch again but she never responded. I feel like maybe Im coming on too strong in our friendship and shes taking a step back. Should I contact her again? Or should I give up and admit that we are better off as acquaintances? How should I go about it?
jawswashington is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th December 2014, 7:49 PM   #2
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: So Cal
Posts: 48
I'd stop texting her. She's not responding because she's probably feeling guilty going behind her bf's back to be in contact with you. If it was your gf, would you be ok with her having/texting a male friend? Just let it go.
JJ72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th December 2014, 2:41 AM   #3
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Posts: 2,920
There's nothing wrong with an attached woman having a male friend, but the fact that you asked her out makes you look suspicious to her boyfriend. It doesn't matter how long ago it was. Take a step back and let her contact you next, if she decides to. Don't contact her again unless it is for a purely professional reason, like if you need a reference.
SpiralOut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th December 2014, 8:41 PM   #4
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Posts: 19,572
Stop texting her. If she's interested, if the bf doesn't last forever, she knows where to find you.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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