PuppetLife Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 I'm back for more advice because i am so not okay. So basically, it's the same situation as before. Friend A and B used to be really closed and now they aren't as closed as they used to be. But A, B and I are still good friends. I personally think that i'm closer to both of them because i tend to keep in touch with them more, but because they used to be really close, best friends, they are obviously going to like each other more comparing to me. So the problem with me is that i get jealous and insecure easily, and it's a serious problem. I get scared that when they talk to each other, they are planning to go somewhere without me or are bitching about me. I want to know everything that they talked about. But when i hang out with one of them, i get scared that the other will find out and get upset. The thing is that i don't want A and B to hang out because i feel like when the three of us are together, i will be excluded. So I believe the problem is that i want to be the link between them and feel upset when they have stronger connection or even any connection with each other and i am not included. I don't think this is normal and i have tried and make new friends, but even if i have other friends, this issue is still here. But i only care about A and B, when i'm with C, D, E,F i really don't mind. So what's wrong with me? I don't like this feeling at all, i feel like i'm going crazy, stalking my friends, wanting to know what they are doing. I even look at A's phone when she was on facebook to see the conversation she had with B. And if the conversation is deleted, or if i saw a message saying they want to go somewhere, i get really upset and it bothers me so much that i can't even sleep at night. I don't i have nothing more than friends toward them, but it's driving me crazy. I know no one can give me a perfect solution because i have to change, but please help me. Please. Link to post Share on other sites
noski Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 (edited) Hey , I'm sorry about what you're going through.Sometimes you can get possessive I guess but to the point that it's preventing you from sleeping? I think this is becoming serious . I think you should try hanging out with C,D,E,F,so that you can stop the focus on them. "I only care about A and B" =Do you mind explaining why? Be kind to yourself because I think you're getting stressed out over something that's not worth it .Try spending time with yourself,do meditation,connect with your inner being .Value yourself,trust in yourself more and know that with or without A or B,you are totally fine.You do not need to get this jealous or be controlling with them.You fear of rejection from them and that insecurity drives you up the wall but just try to relax,take a deep breathe.What is the worst that can happen ?Don't try to analyse their behaviour,when they hung out,what was their conversation.That seems too controlling and this is a very toxic energy that's giving you hard time. Why settle for something that's preventing from sleeping when you can have more effortlessly with a peace of mind ?Think about it. I'm sorry about that.Hope it gets better Edited October 1, 2014 by noski Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 1, 2014 Share Posted October 1, 2014 I don't think your jealousy is normal, it's a bit obsessive. Have you thought about counseling? Link to post Share on other sites
Author PuppetLife Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 when i say "I only care about A and B" i mean that I only get jealous when A & B do things together, and when C&D hang out without me, I'm ok with that. And yes, i know it's not normal, and that's why I want to get rid of these feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 Puppet, my advice to you is the same as before, cut these girls out of your life. They aren't nice and aren't genuine friends. Re read your older thread about this, take in the advice given again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted October 2, 2014 Share Posted October 2, 2014 (edited) change? well, this might be a bit early in your life to register this, but recognise that nobody in the scenario is married to each other, no life-long promises of loyalty, so as A and B are upsetting, you can opt out of contact with them and go on your merry way, and i do mean merry, avoid masochism disengage with care however, no slanging matches, stinging last words or whatnot, do not make enemies, just stop prioritising them, decide to in your own inner mind, this is your diplomatic chioce, A and B are upsetting you C and D are not, so do not rely on A or B, when you start to think of them, read a book or dance or something, distract yourself it is painful to choose the wrong friends, i know xx Edited October 2, 2014 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
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