dragon_fly_7 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I'm 27 years old and never really had a best friend. I did had a couple female friends in my life but none of them I could call them a best friend you can keep in touch with and will be there for you during the good and bad times, someone you can really trust and you get to hang out with. I pretty much don't have an active social life now (with the exception of my parents, family members and the occasional friends on Facebook). To be honest, I always wanted a best friend and at times still do now. In a way this makes my only single wish I never got. All I have is occasional friends that come and go or certain people I met in former job positions that I can't get pass acquaintance level. It's been several years since I haven't hang out with anyone nor been invited now. At this moment, I'm working from home and will be resuming clases (though I take classes online too) so that makes it even harder to meet others. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 It takes more effort to make friends as an adult. I don't feel like I've had a BFF in years but I do have lots of great friends. When we are young our friends tend to be the people who are there: the neighbor, the kids in your class etc. As an adult you have to work for it. Sitting at home & only interacting with family won't cut it. Is there anybody at work who you think you'd like to spend more time with? What about volunteer groups? Are there any alumni associations you can tap? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sdrawkcaB ssA Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 It all depends on your mind set. I realized I did not need friends, because I did things differently and relied on myself. Plus it was hard being accepted, so I did not put any expectations or needs to have them. Had some friends here and there, and at times none at all, from moving or change of work. I have been through relationships that friends were a part of our routine, and where friends are not in the mix. I can't say having friends is a requirement in life, but in some ways you can find life a little easier. Though it is a give and take thing like your relationship. For me, I find that if you have a good and strong relationship with your mate, it does not matter if friends or the lack of there of, as you always find something that is fun or is new together. In some ways friends can be in the way. As I said it is all in the mind set. How you get along with or without them and your mate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dragon_fly_7 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 Is there anybody at work who you think you'd like to spend more time with?Not really. There were a couple new users on our online working site (it's a work at home call center) but all they do is work. I don't even know their email nor even know them. What about volunteer groups?Will try online search on my spare time. Are there any alumni associations you can tap?Gonna try that too. This is where you just put the name of your former HS and it just appears right? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Try volunteermatch.com Also type in the names of causes you care about & review their websites. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I've found that as I'm older it is harder to make friends just to make friends. In order to make a friend, both people need to want to put in the effort. Which is easier said than done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dragon_fly_7 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 It all depends on your mind set. I realized I did not need friends, because I did things differently and relied on myself. Plus it was hard being accepted, so I did not put any expectations or needs to have them.I get that and thought it's true for the most part (I do have my own goals such as finishing college next year and work on creating a business), it doesn't hurt to have someone you can talk and hang out with sometimes. Having a best friend can serve as a complement in your life. Try volunteermatch.com Also type in the names of causes you care about & review their websites.Thank you. Will be trying that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dragon_fly_7 Posted September 22, 2014 Author Share Posted September 22, 2014 I've found that as I'm older it is harder to make friends just to make friends. In order to make a friend, both people need to want to put in the effort. Which is easier said than done.It is hard. In my old workplace, many times I've felt it was me starting the conversations and joining in. Sometimes they would but I would be doing a bit more effort. This is where it sucks; when it's you making most of the effort while they wouldn't even notice if you decided not to eat lunch with them. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 You're cheating yourself by doing online studies when you could be meeting students at a college somewhere. You mention nothing about interests, so maybe having no interests is the problem. You have to have hobbies and interests to get out and go mix with people over and over to establish a friendship. You're young enough to be making friends, but it does get very hard as you get older and don't have the school and going out opportunities as much. Link to post Share on other sites
SusiePie Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I've found that as I'm older it is harder to make friends just to make friends. In order to make a friend, both people need to want to put in the effort. Which is easier said than done. I am in my 40s, widow, no kids, an making new friends gets harder the older I get. I am having the best luck though with common interests. I do improv. with a group of great people. I naturally gravitate to some of the women, also single, no kids. This is a natural setting to build a friendship. Now someone just has to make a first move (like invite one out to lunch) and both have to have good follow up. My close friends value friendship. That is something I picked up on before we got close. Choose quality people who value others and have interests and time for friends. Also - be open to friends who, on the outside, aren't 'like you'. One of my close friends is a different race, grew up in the projects (I grew up in a wealthy suburb), is 10 years younger and a cross dresser (in public too). We connected; none of the outside matters if you care about quality. I also have friends just like me too but I can still stand them PS:I had a four hour lunch with my bff (of 25+ years) yesterday. Nothing like it. I think as long as I have her I wont mind not having a husband the rest of my life. Our friendship just happened. She was my college roommate's friend actually but we hit it off and neither of us have spoken the roommate in 20 years. I wish you great luck OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 I'm 27 years old and never really had a best friend. I did had a couple female friends in my life but none of them I could call them a best friend you can keep in touch with and will be there for you during the good and bad times, someone you can really trust and you get to hang out with. IME, anything is possible. I met my now best male friend at about your age and we started life with me (erroneously!) turning his company down for credit. After that, we started doing business, hanging out, camping together and it went from there. Took years. I pretty much don't have an active social life now (with the exception of my parents, family members and the occasional friends on Facebook). To be honest, I always wanted a best friend and at times still do now. In a way this makes my only single wish I never got. All I have is occasional friends that come and go or certain people I met in former job positions that I can't get pass acquaintance level. It's been several years since I haven't hang out with anyone nor been invited now. At this moment, I'm working from home and will be resuming clases (though I take classes online too) so that makes it even harder to meet others. I was pretty much an introvert who did lousy with women but my customers seemed to like me so I developed a social circle with others from those associations. Like yourself, I 'worked from home' and home was, and still is, miles from anywhere. Still, I drove the miles, went to people's social gatherings, organized those of my own and socialized. IMO, it comes down to choices. My motto has always been that, to have good friends, one must be a good friend, and be proactive. Don't sit around waiting for people to come to you. Will everyone want to be your friend? Nope! Just like with dating, at least for a man anyway, there's a lot of social rejection, especially if you're not socially or monetarily powerful. That's life! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted September 28, 2014 Share Posted September 28, 2014 OP, you might also want to look up meetup(dot)com. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Other people such myself have posted the same on here. I want to make more friends but I'm sick of the backstabbing and fairweather people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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