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How to deal with flaky friends?


iDrumKing

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Made plans with a friend this past Sunday to hang out with them tonight.

 

Talked to them yesterday over the phone and asked if things we still good to go. He started saying things like "Oh... um I'm not really sure if I have anything going on." Well... I mean he shouldn't since we already made plans. But I didn't argue.

 

Asked him today if he found out what he was doing. Said he was "hanging with his mom." Right...

 

Just got on to check my Facebook before going to bed. There are pictures posted of him hanging out with someone else.

 

I'm not jealous so please don't assume I am. I upset that the dude couldn't keep his word and been straight up honest with me. This hasn't been the first time.

 

Honestly I want to cut ties with this friend of mine...

 

Sorry this was sort of a rant.

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IttyBittyKitty

I've had the same problem. Really the only thing to do is to cut ties like you said. My ex friend bailed on me 6 times in a row before I finally ditched her but I'm so glad i did.

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Either confront your friend about the behavior or just stop making plans with him. Just let him set plans with you.

 

At the same time. Try to mix up your social time with doing things on your own/other friends. I think its a great way for you to sail through life and not have any hang ups.

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Michelle ma Belle

At this age, I've become rather hardcore about a few things in my life and friendships are one of them.

 

If a "friend" continues to bail on me particularly without good reason it, I'm over it. As I've said a million times on here, relationships including friendships require two people working at it. It's a give and take after all.

 

I can't imagine any of my closest friends behaving in such a way but IF they did, I would definitely confront them about it and share my feelings. I think those kinds of friendships need to be honored with a conversation at least and if things didn't improve after that, I suppose the writing is on the wall. I'm not interested in towing the line for the both of us. Been there, done that and have the postcard thank you very much.

 

If they are a peripheral friend, I wouldn't bother chasing after them to have the "talk". Not worth my time or energy.

 

I guess that's why I have a very small group of besties. It's about quality not quantity :)

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I can't have friends who are that blase or disorganized. I like friends who at least know what they want to do and have the organizational skills to execute the plan.

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Outside of handing them Head and Shoulders... Flakey friends may not get a clue. You will have to about with not so flakey friends, though I like my friends to be moist and slighty spongy.

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