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The company you keep..


tnimbus

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I've been reordering my life a bit lately, and have come across this repeatedly now. "With whom you assemble, you soon resemble". I don't want to be super-judgemental of people, or their friends, etc., but I've started to find this little quote to be very true. I've cut a couple of people out of my life because of the shady people they started associating with...and started resembling.

In some ways I feel bad...we're all human, we all have different types of friends, etc., but some of these new-found friends of friends have some very bad habits that are rubbing off. Pondering...

Has anyone else had to do this? All thoughts are welcome.

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I've been reordering my life a bit lately, and have come across this repeatedly now. "With whom you assemble, you soon resemble". I don't want to be super-judgemental of people, or their friends, etc., but I've started to find this little quote to be very true. I've cut a couple of people out of my life because of the shady people they started associating with...and started resembling.

In some ways I feel bad...we're all human, we all have different types of friends, etc., but some of these new-found friends of friends have some very bad habits that are rubbing off. Pondering...

Has anyone else had to do this? All thoughts are welcome.

 

Hello,

 

SoI was watching the other day a lecture online,very interesting and I heard something like "you are your friend's religion sometimes".Well it was about practicing religion and all.Basically he was talking about how we can easily be influenced by friends,or vice versa,in good or bad and sometimes you don't even realise it when you're in the relationship.

So it's good sometimes to spray it off,and remove the toxic energy .

 

I understand your point and don't feel bad about it.You realised it before late and acted upon it.It takes courage to go there because we don't always wanna frustrate people but there are ways to do it as well.I mean people delete on social medias ,suppress and all but you can start by taking a step back and distance yourself from it I guess...

Edited by noski
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I've been reordering my life a bit lately, and have come across this repeatedly now. "With whom you assemble, you soon resemble". I don't want to be super-judgemental of people, or their friends, etc., but I've started to find this little quote to be very true. I've cut a couple of people out of my life because of the shady people they started associating with...and started resembling.

In some ways I feel bad...we're all human, we all have different types of friends, etc., but some of these new-found friends of friends have some very bad habits that are rubbing off. Pondering...

Has anyone else had to do this? All thoughts are welcome.

 

Yes, sadly.

 

I've had to reduce my communication with some of my closer friends because it occurred to me they only knew how to have a good time with alcohol. When it came to doing anything else besides that, they would always end up being busy. I enjoyed playing sports and working out more than I did burning my liver out so we naturally grew apart.

Edited by Beachead
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Re-organizing ones life can be a tall task. Yet its a cleansing.

 

Are these social friends? True friends go thru life with you. They are rarely cut out of associating with.

 

When burning bridges decide if this is a temporary regrouping or a full on dismissal. Then follow thru.

 

I've had my fair share of being on both sides of the scenario, neither is pleasant.

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Has anyone else had to do this?

 

Only those of us who are trying to get somewhere have had to do this.

 

There are some people who seem not to care about where they are going or

Who take life just as it comes to them.

 

My roommate is my really close friend of 10 years. We are like brothers. But unfortunately, we are on 2 completely different paths.

 

I am trying to do a tech startup from scratch. He spends his spare time smoking weed w friends, drinking & watching TV w friends, and going out to bars every now and then.

 

He does all this and then wonders why he cannot find what he wants to do in life. He says he just cant figure out. I told him that it is hard to find something you spend almost 0% of your time thinking about and searching for.

 

But it doesnt bother him enough to leave behind his friends. That Eleanor Roosevelt quote is also true. When i hear them talking in the other room, guess what they are discussing? How much other people suck, how much the people at their job suck at their job except them, how much they hate this or that, and what they should do for their next party.

 

Right now where I live I have to be around it. But I have every intention of building for myself a life where I do not have to be in this kind of environment. Im glad I saw this thread.

 

You need to separate yourself from people who add no value to your life; people who dont dare you to challenge yourself; people who you can't pour into (mentor).

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I went through my phone contacts. I basically have 22 friends. I would say 12 are close. Some are out of town. I am more finiky about my in town friends.

 

To me its like this. If you are 15 minutes away from my place and we don't talk about once a month. Whats the point in being friends. I kind of like to run a tight ship. Besides. What happens when you run into them. Then there is a that awkward interaction.

 

I don't know why some people change. I can really see the sutle changes in friends. Sometimes I think its us that outgrow our friends. I think that I have in some cases. I now only want to be around the friends that I click with in terms of my in town city friends. My out of town friends. Everything is great.

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Thank you so much for all of the replies! I'm sorry it took so long to get back. One of the things I'm trying to do to improve my life is not be on the internet everyday. It's helping.

One friend was really more of a social type friend, and the other was a close friend at one time. I wasn't trying to be cruel..and the latter took it that way, but his continued actions,(alcoholic, cyber-cheating on his wife while he's at work, and some other really bad things and buddies who are influencing him in these actions that will lose him his wife and job), kept putting me in a spot I didn't want to be in. It was at a point where I felt I had to let go for my own well-being. I'm sad to end the friendship, but I couldn't just sit back and say,"It's okay for you to do these things."

Over the last year, I've had some experiences that have made me take a super focused look at my life, and who is in it, and what I want in it. I don't want to sound like I'm cruel, or that I would abandon a very close friend who was in a bad way. I wouldn't.....but I also have been trying to really SEE people, and SEE if the friendship, family member, etc. is a two-way street. I've had a habit of drawing in people who seem to need "fixing"....something I can't do. Only they can.

It's been a hard road...but I'm finding that as I let go of what is toxic and no longer working, other better things are coming in. I won't lie though, some days it gets to me, and some nights I have bad dreams.

I feel like I'm heading in the right direction though, for the first time in a long time...and that...that helps a lot when the bad dreams come.:)

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