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Friends?


catherine1

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Okay so, I have these 2 friends who are sisters and ive known them since we were around 7 years old, although we have lost touch once during the years due to going to different schools/living in different areas. One of my friends went through some personal issues regarding her partner leaving her very sceptical of men, however I now find her to be a colder person. She is constantly talking about other people, even a mutual friend of ours, always being judgemental of her and backstabbing her despite seeing her on a regular basis. A few weeks back I made the mistake of telling this friend that I had bumped into a guy I know, and we headed out for the evening, got a bit drunk & ended up having sex. At first she wasn't too judgemental, but hearing how I hooked up twice with this guy she asks "what are you two...bed buddies" to which I said "probably yes" and I automatically sensed a hostility. The last two times ive seen her ive had the same attitude from her. This guy happens to be Asian, and she gave me a lecture about how blonde girls like myself are viewed if they go with an Asian man, her & her sister made a few racist remarks, saying about him smelling! he is vile etc. They told me to finish university and meet a man when I am in a good job, I don't plan on getting into a relationship with this guy, I admit it was drunken sex and I am calling a holt on it to focus on my studies and career. However, despite this, I was upset with how my friends became standoffish with me, not their selves. They are no angels either, and I am the "good one" out of the bunch, they too have had casual sex before. They told me I was quiet on a night out, and I get like this when a man is on the scene, there is no man on the scene...im not in a relationship or dating! I was a bit down due to other matters. They have said how I shouldn't degrade myself by going with an Asian guy, and that they don't want their friend going with one, and that any men in our city wont want to know me if they discover I have been with one. I am sickened, have we not moved on so much from such views? my grades fell last time I was in a relationship so I can understand their concern in that respect, but I don't appreciate their bitchy and backstabbing, not to mention racist behaviour! I really don't feel like seeing my friends until I have calmed down, I just hope they aren't going to be like this to me again!

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I am also confused as to why theyre being a bit off with me, is it because of this guy? or is it because when I was feeling down as I wasn't fun to be around? I have always been the one to dance the most on nights out and have fun, but we have done that so much it loses its novelty, I cant always be on top party form! I just don't get their bitchiness towards me.

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Lernaean_Hydra

Eww, no get away from these judgmental bitches as quickly as as humanly possible. Apparently, in 1942 where they live, this kind of talk is perfectly fine and well and their attitudes completely acceptable. Unfortunately for them, you, I and the rest of the world are living in 2014 and have no time for people and/or ideologies like that.

 

They are not good friends, they're not even real friends, they are toxic, awful people who you want nothing to do with..especially Eva Braun over there with her nonsense about who and what a blonde white woman should be doing...

 

As an aside, there's nothing like a hot Asian guy who's good in bed :love:

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Eww, no get away from these judgmental bitches as quickly as as humanly possible. Apparently, in 1942 where they live, this kind of talk is perfectly fine and well and their attitudes completely acceptable. Unfortunately for them, you, I and the rest of the world are living in 2014 and have no time for people and/or ideologies like that.

 

They are not good friends, they're not even real friends, they are toxic, awful people who you want nothing to do with..especially Eva Braun over there with her nonsense about who and what a blonde white woman should be doing...

 

As an aside, there's nothing like a hot Asian guy who's good in bed :love:

Thank you for your reply, I am starting to see how judgmental they are with their out dated view on race and society. I don't want to lose people I thought were good friends because I slept with someone, I have never ben a girl to put men before friends but they have made me feel controlled and that I have to stick to their ideologies to be able to remain friends with them. Its not the first time one of them has offered unasked for judgement, I am a healthy slim weight but one of these girls has said to my face that "your our pencil with stuck on boobs" no, thank you very much but I am healthy with my weight. Sorry to rant, but your reply has helped me realised the mentality of these girls.
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Your “friends” sound unreasonably judgmental, narrow-minded, and immature. Perhaps you should keep your love-life private since you know the questionable characters of these people so well.

 

Word of advice: “never tell a gossip about the details of your life.” Think about it, if a person gossips about others, don’t you think they're gossiping about you? In the pitiful and desperate world of gossips, no one is off limits. Besides, there’s no rule saying that your life has to be an open book. If you want to ’tell all’ keep a journal! Better to develop an inner life than to be constantly put on trial and fall victim to mind games.

 

Also, there is nothing wrong with dating Asian! Date who you want to regardless of ethnicity. Just do you. Honor your personal and private life. Who you sleep with is your business! You are the only judge of your actions. You say you’ve never put men before your friends? Well, don’t put these friends before yourself!

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