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Complicated friendship


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So I have a question. So my close guy friend and I started sexting each other, it kinda just happened, we talk about everything and anything very open with each other, so I was ending things with the guy I was currently seeing and he has a girlfriend anyway I say lust took hold of us. He expressed that he no longer wants to be in a relationship, he said he wants to be alone. So we were sexting for about three weeks.

 

So He asked last night for us to stop sexting and that he respects me to much and values our friendship, he said it upset him that our conversations were now just sexting and not based on friendship. He said he wanted a friendship with me and he felt we were losing that and allowing lust to take over. He said he was trying to help me move on from the guy I was seeing, I said I don't see how sexting does that but anyway.

 

I feel slutty now and I told him, I feel so vulnerable he has seen my body and he said I too have seen his but we have to stop as it's wrong.

 

He said we will hurt each other and that I am not a slut nor should feel like that, it just has happened

 

We have a complicated past, we have sexted a little before. We have at different times tried to be together but unfortunately we have people interfere with that and decided that all we can be is friends. Maybe in the future we might be able to be together we are both open but for now we are just friends.

 

We have now decided its for the best to stop sexting and go back to just friends and pretend like usual when anything like this happens to just ignore it . That's what we always do, when things cross the line, we ignore and pretend that it never has happened.

 

So my question is what do I do? I am torn. Do I keep staying his friend or finally once and for all move on.

 

We have tried to move on so many times but seems we always end up back in contact.

 

Help

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So I have a question. So my close guy friend and I started sexting each other, it kinda just happened, we talk about everything and anything very open with each other, so I was ending things with the guy I was currently seeing and he has a girlfriend anyway I say lust took hold of us. He expressed that he no longer wants to be in a relationship, he said he wants to be alone. So we were sexting for about three weeks.

 

So He asked last night for us to stop sexting and that he respects me to much and values our friendship, he said it upset him that our conversations were now just sexting and not based on friendship. He said he wanted a friendship with me and he felt we were losing that and allowing lust to take over. He said he was trying to help me move on from the guy I was seeing, I said I don't see how sexting does that but anyway.

 

I feel slutty now and I told him, I feel so vulnerable he has seen my body and he said I too have seen his but we have to stop as it's wrong.

 

He said we will hurt each other and that I am not a slut nor should feel like that, it just has happened

 

We have a complicated past, we have sexted a little before. We have at different times tried to be together but unfortunately we have people interfere with that and decided that all we can be is friends. Maybe in the future we might be able to be together we are both open but for now we are just friends.

 

We have now decided its for the best to stop sexting and go back to just friends and pretend like usual when anything like this happens to just ignore it . That's what we always do, when things cross the line, we ignore and pretend that it never has happened.

 

So my question is what do I do? I am torn. Do I keep staying his friend or finally once and for all move on.

 

We have tried to move on so many times but seems we always end up back in contact.

 

Help

 

 

Definitely a sticky situation. Not that it was intentional per-se. Just that he changed his tune all of a sudden so as to become all analytical and possibly protective. Would have been much easier if he brought all this up before the sexting. I guess he simply changed his mind. Interesting also in the fact that he seems to have been rather definitive with this. Not really open to your own input nor interpratation.

 

 

It is your call as to where you go from here. Is there a lot more to your friendship than the lust factor? Can you put the sexual attraction aside and focus on only being friends? Does the benefit of being friends going forward outweigh the discomfort you may feel? These are the questions you need to ask yourself.

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We do have a complicated past. He can be like that, he is very good at knowing what he wants most of the time. He likes to be in control.

 

We have been friends for over a year and a half.

We text every day morning and night, even when he has been away on trips with his girl friend. We feel comfortable to tell each other any thing.

 

We tried seeing each other before but it got messy as a mutual friend interfered and we had to break up for a while.

 

We have gone back to normal now with the texting, so no sexting but it still has a sexual under tone to our conversations.

 

He has in the past asked openly about my sex life and seems he gets jealous.

 

I feel a bit stuck, in this friendship, we both want more at times but it never works out and so we break up for a few months but then we come back together as friends a the whole cycle starts again.

 

He always talks about us in the future being together one day, if we are meant to be, until then we are just close friends

 

I am lost what I should do.

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So I feel like I am talking to myself here but please if any one has advice, I'd love to hear from you.

 

Update my friend and I ended up in a fight last night and ending our friendship. To make long story short, i called today to have closure but we ended up in a heated fight, we fight the same.

 

We discussed my feelings for him, how I don't want to hear about his gf, how I hate hearing how great she is and then how he doesn't want to be in a relationship.

 

I asked if he was happy in his relationship? He said well what is happiness.

 

He said Its unfair I can't talk about joy with you because I have to worry if this may hurt you, I can't say what I am doing because if I say I am with my gf that will hurt you? What do I say I am at the movies with a girl? Most friends like to know what what each other's do.

 

We discussed the sexting and he said he was just being open how he is with all his friends, he said that it was just answering and asking questions. The sexting was very discriptive and explicated so it was beyond asking questions and answers.

 

Anyway long story short he started to masterbate down the phone, I could tell ask his breath was heavy and fast and his speech became very rapid. When he was done he said "ok are we going to give this a last chance?" I said yes and he said "really thanks for the call."

 

I don't know how to feel. I want him in my life. How do I let my feelings go?

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This isn't a relationship. This is just a two-bit drama, and you're both playing into it. You're yanking each other's chains, and enjoying the thrill of the will-it-won't it relationship status. Quit acting like two immature children. Sit down, preferably in counselling and get your heads sorted, because this behaviour is puerile and idiotic and ultimately will spoil you for any future relationship because every way you'll play it is dramatically.

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