Venting about an obvious fake friend

[Pompom]

I love those two-faced she-canines who talk about how they can't trust others and how they just want to have good, "quality" friends, but you can't rely on them for crap and they act like they're above everyone else..

 

There was this woman, my age, whom I met through her many "single mingle" parties, where she'd throw a party at her place for "quality" single people. I loved her parties. We talked a bit, turned out we had a good mutual friend (who became the opposite to both of us very quickly when he succumbed to an overly jealous, controlling "girl"friend), and I thought, while she seems stuck up and arrogant, we might be friends. Since she's also into plus-size modeling, I was excited to have a connection to potential employers.

 

But it got harder and harder to like her. I'm sure she doesn't even notice how she humiliates everyone, because she is so deep into her caste system that it comes natural to her. She even took the microphone to squeal cheerfully, while pointing at 2 black ladies attending one of her singles parties: "And as you can see, we even have exotic dark beauties here for the gentlemen who like something special!". Meat market much? "Can someone recommend a good nurse for my nan? Please no more Asians." Oh, and when I said I had a thing with a Muslim, she gasped and screamed I should get tested for STDs, and since then, she only forwarded disgusting sleazebags to me when it came to matchmaking.

 

Here's gems from her definition of "friendship", where she gets to make demands but doesn't feel bad ignoring - not declining, ignoring - humble requests. Note these aren't actual quotes but summaries of the situations:

 

"Anna, can you show me all the good supermarkets of the area, like, now? Oh, you have heavy groceries to take home? You can do that later, please take me to this and that shop? If these clementines are heavy, just give me one and please throw away the peel for me?"

 

"Anna, can you come help me clean up my apartment? Oh, you're actually moving and taking care of 2 apartments yourself and don't know how to manage? That's okay, just come over and help me out, you can do your stuff later. Nah, I'm not gonna ask if you need any help. Just come and help me out."

 

"Anna, how are you? How did your boob job go? I'm not gonna let you finish the first half of your first sentence in reply, because I really don't care and just want to show the other guests how engaging I am, sorry if I did that by loudly bringing up your insecurities and fake boobs as an opener." (totally ignores me, interrupts me, and talks pointedly to her other "friends" - thanks for the humiliation?)

 

"Anna, can you please pester all your friends to attend my salsa event? No, I'm not gonna waste 5 seconds of my precious time and a spot on my Facebook timeline to share that post of yours about a dog in urgent need of donations, because that dog is ugly and not in tune with my fancy party and modeling posts. I am a queen, and 14-year-old blind dogs aren't elegant."

 

"Hey Bob, I hear you work at Ikea, can you please get me a VIP discount there? What do you mean, you can't? You're a lousy friend! So what if you are just another low-ranking salesperson who can't make such decisions and would get fired if he did??? I thought we were friends, like, you came to one of my parties and we talked for like 2 minutes!!!!"

 

"Hey Bob, can you please borrow your dad's car and do some personal shopping for me, because, I'd totally not do the same for you but we're friends, right? Like, on Facebook and stuff? I know I insulted your blue collar @$$ by saying the parties I invite you and your cash and snack contributions to, are for academics and career people only, but just do some shopping for me? I'll give you 5 bucks! I know you're working, feeding a son, and the 5 bucks I offered don't cover the gas, but come on?"

 

"Liran is such a disgusting son of a she-dog, he was like, cynical to me! But while I know - to the tiny extent I allowed you to tell me about it because I don't like listening to people other than myself - how he hurt, used, played, betrayed, and lied to you, I ask you cut the guy some slack. He's an a-hole though, because, like, he made a cynical remark in my presence."

 

"My parties are only for quality people: academics and career people! I'm gonna invite everyone else too so people be impressed by how many people go to my parties, but I don't care that I might offend them by defining quality by everything they lack. And let me make it known: it is a disgusting slanderous lie in an attempt to ruin me, by saying I allowed Arabs to attend!!! No, I'm not racist."

 

"I can be your friend, Anna. I know you miss Liran's friendship because he listened to you and never judged you for having so many pets - eeew your dog is so ugly, I hope you didn't pay for that!!! - dating Arabs, or being a bit crazy or only half a Jew... I know I judge you harshly and publicly, and shouted to all my rightwing Zionist friends that you dated an Arab and probably got an STD from him, and that I won't listen to you to the point where I let you finish 1 sentence... But I can be your friend and totally replace Liran who kept reminding you he loved and accepted you no matter what."

 

"I think we'd make great friends. I love you Anna, I care about you. By the way, I sent a few guys your way who are looking for a one-night-stand, because I guessed you don't mind. I know you're looking for marriage and kids, but just entertain my buddies, because you're like my go-to girl for that? Nah, I won't introduce any handsome, serious men to you."

 

"I really want you to find true love, Anna. Here's the phone numbers of all the ugly or old guys nobody else wants. Try them. I know this one is ugly, 50, and desperate, but he can provide for you."

(because, I'm a prostitute looking for marriage so I can live off a man's money?)

 

"I like quality gentlemen, but I'm not gonna reprimand, condemn, judge, or ban the guy from my parties, who just publicly called you an ugly whore because you don't want to have sex with him. I'm not even gonna unfriend him. He comes to my parties, and that's more important than defending my friend's honor."

 

 

Dear E., self-declared "queen of the suburbs" without a hint of humor,

 

go f yourself. You're not famous, you're no VIP, you just like to act important. Truth is, you're not. Your parties are cool, you're photogenic, and I envy you for getting plus-size modeling jobs, but other than that you're a vapid, selfish, self-absorbed she-dog who shouldn't blame the lack of "quality men" for her being single. What quality have you got to offer in return, anyway? Oh, fancy studies of the land of Israel. And you throw nice parties. Okay, you're a student living with her parents whose house she uses for social events, and lacking any degree of independence. Yeah, now that's quality.

 

Now that she has unfriended me - probably because I didn't give her more than 10 times the attention she gave me - I can finally vent

[preraph]

Your "friend" is a social networker type who is surface-friendly to everyone. Usually there's some reason this benefits her. My friend who's like that is a DJ and sometimes he calls on his many friends to attend a flopping function. Clearly, she's got something bad to say about just about everyone, so unless you find her particularly entertaining, why bother?

[Pompom]

I no longer do; didn't even exploit the connection once I started disliking her attitude.

[gaius]

Good. Now maybe you can give us more attention.

 

Some people are just like that. =/

[bubbaganoosh]

That was once a friend? I had enemies who treated me better.

[Pompom]

Good. Now maybe you can give us more attention.

 

Some people are just like that. =/

 

Oh you

 

 

She recently contacted me again, begging me (close to midnight) to urgently call a reality TV producer. Because, she (that "friend") had been approached to do plus-size frontal nudity shots for an amount of money that I can currently only dream of holding in my hands (about 300 bucks). She only does back nudity though, and apparently it was urgent, so she beggggggggged me to contact that producer NOW. She sent naggy messages every other minute - "Did you talk to her? Helloooo? ????? Hello??? Did you????? - while I was talking with the producer who said she was driving and will get back to me in the morning. She did, and asked to mail her pictures. So I did. Half a day later, the producer tells me "friend" took the job after all. The latter did not bother notifying me But did nag me to take the job off her hands for the better part of the previous 12 hours :rolleyes: I am so done with this she-dog.