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I lost my best friend and boyfriend to the same person


domdom08

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Me and my best friend have been going through quite a few problems for about 7 months now. We don't talk the way we used to and sometimes i'd just rather give up the friendship than to keep it. I mean I love her more than anything, even my life itself. Many think I put her through a lot and wish that we should just not be friends anymore, vice versa. She talks about how she's given up so many of her friends just to occupy time for me, and it sort of feels like she's blaming me.Well, yesterday we had a big argument and discussion about everything. I don't really trust her anymore or talk to her about some of my problems either. It's uncomfortable and I don't see a purpose. I wish I could go and talk to her about anything though.

 

We argue about everything. Yesterday, she broke down and cried. She explained how i got in between her and one of her former best friends. Her and her former best friend did everything together and were friends since the age of 4. Someone said to her that the friendship that I and her have will never compare to that of her and her former best friend. A guy that i was dating also started dating her and she didn't trust my best friend anymore because of me and they kind of fell out. It hurts to know that you came in between to people that really care about each other. The guy was the love of my life and my old best friend has been my only true best friend. So in all, I have lost the love of my life and my only best friend to the same person. She pondered back on the good times they used to have, misses it and wants it back.

 

Now, i feel like my only option is to step back and let it be what it is. Let them be. The only problem is that I wish I wouldn't have to feel like this around her but we're roomates. How can I be around and act like it's not bothering me. I believe that I am going to try to transfer in the spring if i could or definitely next fall. i guess my options are to move on and accept what is to come, try to make things work, or to just make myself miserable and cry every night. Well maybe not the last one. What do you think i should do about this?[color=red][/color]

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You had two relationships that weren't working -- but you weren't ready to accept that and let them go. The problem isn't with you alone; it was mutual in both cases.

 

Yes, it's an unpleasant coincidence that both your ex and your ex best friend have ended up with the same girl. It's easy to get sidetracked by focusing on that. Better to shrug that off and get on with making your life better.

 

You need to get a new living situation if at all possible. Do it in a straightforward, legal, practical way. If that's not possible, then you need to separate roommate life from friendship life. Be pleasant, friendly, but keep your business to yourself. Get involved with new activities. Look for new friends.

 

Ask yourself who you want to be and start working harder toward that. Stop settling for what's been going on. If you'd admit it to yourself, you'd see it hasn't been what you really wanted for some time now.

 

-- uriel

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guest_123456

domdom08---Yeah I know It sucks. I to have been in a that very same place. I still do miss my now ex-best friend. There really is (unfortanetly) nothing you can do> Just sit back and let it happen. If you must stay were your living now, I agree with uriel, keep your self busy. We still talk about once or twice a year but in away I wish we didn't cause it only hurts more. Its always weird for the both of us. The boyfriend that will blow over, not that big of a deal 5 or 7 years down the road. But its hard to find a true friend and thats what hurts the most!!!

 

If you can try to re mane friends if not I'm sorry but you should just walk away with your head held high.

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