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My friends say my girlfriend looks like my ex and it bugs me!


Kwilliams14

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Hey Loveshack,

 

Been dwelling over an issue I had with my friends.

 

My friends and I were all hanging out and drinking without significant others, and my one friend comes out and says "Oh by the way, how come your new girlfriend looks just like your ex?! My fiance thinks so too". I personally dont think this at all, and a couple of others chimed in and said they thoguht so too. It irked me so much I texted some other friends and they all said "She looks nothing like her... maybe the hair".

 

The group of friends saying she looks like her have seen my ex more, and are friends with my ex.

 

Of course after they saw how much it bugged me, it became a subject to tease me on the rest of the night, which sucked ha.

 

Has anyone had a similar experience? I have no idea why it irks me so much. I feel like it has to do with the fact people were making snap decisions about my new girlfriend's appearance. I get the whole "people have a type thing" but I cant shake the fact that it bugs me! I think they look nothing alike, and dont understand why some people do...

 

 

If anyone has any coping tools, similar experiences (resolved or not), or words of wisdom, feel free to help me out! Thanks

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Oh man. I have a friend right now that just sent me a photo of her rebound man. She had a nasty, protracted breakup from a 4 year relationship, jumped into a fling with another guy a little too quick (IMO), and.... the guy looks JUST LIKE her ex!

 

I didn't tell her that, though... that'd be too upsetting for her, I think.

 

I can understand why this would be troubling to you. Especially if you had a nasty breakup with the last girlfriend. The implicit comparison is uncomfortable. Perhaps one thing you can do is thing (to yourself) of all the things your current GF does that makes her unique: not in the looks department, but in the "being a good partner" department.

 

To an extent, we can't help who we fall in love with, or whether they resemble someone else from our lives. Early on in my relationship with my BF, I would occasionally look at him and see traces of my brother (like the way he would toss a glance at me). It would creep me out a little, but then I would think of all the wonderful things that made my man unique, and the weirdness would subside.

 

Incidentally, lots of couples pick a significant other who looks a lot like themselves. Have you noticed that? I have a couple friends that resemble one another more and more each passing year... soon they will morph into one another, I'm certain. Maybe your GF looks a lot like you... and shares physical traits with the ex-GF because she also looked a tad like you. :)

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todreaminblue

had a thing with a guy who looked like my ex..i felt comfortable with him and he made em feel beautiful ...that was bigger than his looks...or same eyes....i tend to have serious feelings with guys who have brown eyes not blue.......maybe that si just random coincidence...or maybe the guy i am really meant to be with is always going to be my brown eyed guy......like chocky....mmmm...chocolate............so what if you do have a type...so what if she does have similar features....she is female.......if you love her...stuff everyone else....best iwshes...rock on..deb

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You have a physical type. that's all

 

If you line up pictures of all my ex's they could be brothers. My Husband saw some photos of my old BFs & even teased me about the resemblence.

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You have a physical type. that's all

 

If you line up pictures of all my ex's they could be brothers. My Husband saw some photos of my old BFs & even teased me about the resemblence.

 

This is very logical we all have types.

Edited by Omei
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Don't let them bother you too much. Just say "Hey, ever heard of having good taste?" It's normal to have a "type."

 

However, if you are really bugged by this, there could be something about it that reeks of the truth, so be honest with yourself and make sure you've really dealt with the breakup thoroughly.

 

I tell you I went to a gig like 25 years later of an old BF (now married) and he had this sidekick that was so similar to me that it was eerie, more the way she walked but physically too. He had her helping him like I used to do. And if I did consider this was my imagination before jumping to conclusions, that only lasted until she came up to me mid-gig and said, "Hi, I'm the new you." Meanwhile, he's still married to someone completely not like me but got this running in some manner or other on the side. I'm thinking it was platonic because he was so much older than her, but if i know him, he was thinking about it...

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