darkmoon Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) no matter what I say to ask her to stop, she carries on, I am on the verge of blowing my top at her, she is not successful in a career, her husband does all her housework, still I am the target for her pep-talks and right when we should be having fun socialising I am told off I texted her saying I am tidying up in her honour, fun-like, she was due to visit tomorrow, but I just want to cancel - I have talked to her about this bossiness of hers 2/3 times, I think she enjoys it I am scared that she will start, nothing I do is good enough I have known her twelve years, she is inclined to gossip, I do not even feel she would protect my reputation specially, like perfect housework is the most important thing, she is changing from being nice and I can not stop this any thoughts? Edited August 8, 2013 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Why would you call this person a 'friend'? Why is she coming over? Why are you so fastidious about "tidying up in her honour" when you quite obviously resent every word she utters? (And I'm not saying you're wrong to, I'm saying you have a funny way of showing it....) Why have you let her get away with it for so long? Does she intimidate you? Make you feel inferior? What's the score, here? Have you checked that her FOO isn't as critical of her? we tend to copy/emulate learnt behaviours..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted August 8, 2013 Author Share Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) Why would you call this person a 'friend'? Why is she coming over? Why are you so fastidious about "tidying up in her honour" when you quite obviously resent every word she utters? (And I'm not saying you're wrong to, I'm saying you have a funny way of showing it....) Why have you let her get away with it for so long? Does she intimidate you? Make you feel inferior? What's the score, here? Have you checked that her FOO isn't as critical of her? we tend to copy/emulate learnt behaviours..... it is only in the past week she has turned into a traffic cop, and nothing I say nips her bad behaviour in the bud, What is a FOO? I must tidy up for a relative too, I was jokey "with in her honour" but if I cancel my friend's visit, the friendship might be over, big step to say goodbye to twelve years, it is a power struggle at the moment, not a social event, that is for sure, Edited August 8, 2013 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 it is only in the past week he has turned into a traffic cop, and nothing I say nips her bad behaviour in the bud, What is a FOO? I must tidy up for a relative too, I was jokey "with in her honour" but if I cancel my friend's visit, the friendship might be over, big step to say goodbye to twelve years, it is a power struggle at the moment, not a social event, that is for sure, FOO = Family Of Origin. maybe she was heavily and continuously criticised as a child, and made to feel she was never good enough.... If marriages of 2 - 25 years can 'break up' then this friendship is nothing different. In fact, you are investing a lot more than she is. She drains your energy and devalues your existence and worth. That's not friendship. That's emotional vampirism and she's not good for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author darkmoon Posted August 8, 2013 Author Share Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) FOO = Family Of Origin. maybe she was heavily and continuously criticised as a child, and made to feel she was never good enough.... If marriages of 2 - 25 years can 'break up' then this friendship is nothing different. In fact, you are investing a lot more than she is. She drains your energy and devalues your existence and worth. That's not friendship. That's emotional vampirism and she's not good for you. it is a shame when people change, I will cancel, just text something, she knows that the friendship is unravelling, not of my doing, her FOO love her, her Mother is happy granny x 3 all close to each other, texting, phoning and facebook photo uploading, I thought she is acting something out, okay, but I will withdraw to protect myself, she needs to think on a bit Edited August 8, 2013 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
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