iamawesome Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 Got really drunk one night, woke up still drunk. For some dumbass reason I sent sexually explicit messages to a platonic female friend of mine and went back to sleep. I thought I was dreaming, but apparently it was real. Now she's no longer returning my calls, or texts. I sent over an apology over facebook explaining how ashamed I was. No response, on top of that I waited several weeks giving her space. Sent her a text just seeing how she was, still getting the cold shoulder. Not sure if there is anything else I can do. I still keep in contact with her best friend...thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 my thoughts are you should not contact her until she contacts you...let her re establish the boundaries of platonic friendship that you over stepped, if there is to be a continuing friendship at all...it will probably be an awkward one, if it does continue......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author iamawesome Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 "The writing hand having writ moves on..." *sigh Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 Have a drink and fagedabouit! Seriously let her go and think about your drinking habits. If things like this have happened before she may not be the only one wondering if a friendship with you is worth it. OTOH people do stupid things when drunk and she just may need time to get past the shock and see the humor in it. You too. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 Got really drunk one night, woke up still drunk. For some dumbass reason I sent sexually explicit messages to a platonic female friend of mine and went back to sleep. I thought I was dreaming, but apparently it was real. Now she's no longer returning my calls, or texts. I sent over an apology over facebook explaining how ashamed I was. No response, on top of that I waited several weeks giving her space. Sent her a text just seeing how she was, still getting the cold shoulder. Not sure if there is anything else I can do. I still keep in contact with her best friend...thoughts? She needs to get over it. You've apologized and tried to reach out to her and she's taken the immature route. This is her issue and if she can't give you a chance, forget her. That means you two weren't great friends to begin with. True friends apologize when they mess up (and you did apologize!), true friends talk it out and forgive one another for mistakes. Don't text, email or call her anymore. You've done your bit, now it's time for her to grow up and sort this out. Ignoring it is a cowards way of dealing with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 First, do you have sexual feelings for this female friend that you have not acted on for whatever reason? No guy friend I know would just randomly sex-text a female friend unless on some level they were sexually attracted to her. So, do you have feelings for this woman? If not, then yeah, it was pretty lame for you to sex-text her because that itself destroys a trust-barrier between you, because now she'll think you don't respect her and think she's trash or something like that. While I don't condone the silent treatment and do think it's a cowards tool of choice for conflict resolution, I do think she has a right to react negatively to your text. If she's not responding, that's pretty much her way of telling you that she's through with the friendship. There's no other explanation than that, I'm afraid to say. If she truly cared about you she would have forgiven you and laughed about it, maybe even teased you. And you did reach out to her to make amends which shows that you do respect her feelings. So that is great that you did that. But the question you really need to ask yourself is, do you need to get SO drunk, that you still wake up drunk the next morning wondering what you did the night before? Maybe cut back on the booze, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 She needs to get over it. You've apologized and tried to reach out to her and she's taken the immature route. This is her issue and if she can't give you a chance, forget her. That means you two weren't great friends to begin with. True friends apologize when they mess up (and you did apologize!), true friends talk it out and forgive one another for mistakes. Don't text, email or call her anymore. You've done your bit, now it's time for her to grow up and sort this out. Ignoring it is a cowards way of dealing with it. I don't think she is being immature for not accepting his apology, and that she 'needs' to get over it. It's pretty disgusting to get a lewd text message from someone, especially a male friend. I don't blame her for not wanting him back in her life. Who knows what he will do next time he gets blind drunk. What is immature in my opinion is getting drunk, doing what you like and then blaming the alcohol. OP, you've done what you can, and you should leave her alone. She may come around to forgive you, but if she doesn't then you are the one that needs to get over it and move on, and as another poster said maybe cut back on the drinking. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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