packersgirl Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Hey ya'll. I'm having issues with one of my best guy friends. But to fully understand whats going on, ya'll will need some backgroud info first... I met him about a year ago, we work together. We hit it off right away, mainly because his brother worked there too and I got along with his brother so well. Anyway, our friendship started growing, and so did a love interest. About six months into our friendship, he asked me on a date and to go with him to his dad's wedding. I was slightly interested at the time, so I decided to give it a chance. After the first date I was feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing. But we set another date for that Saturday and decided to just stay @ one of our houses and watch a movie. That night while he was leaving, he asked if we could start dating, I avoided the question and sent him on his way. For about two weeks, I avoided his calls, his presence.. everything! Till one day I finally got the courage up to tell him I wanted to be friends. Since then, our friendship has become this amazing thing! He and I get along so well, I can talk to him about anything, its like your typical best friend friendship senario. All was great until last Wednesday. We were down @ the beach with some other people, and my ride got mad and left. So I rode back with him. We were talking, and he knows I've been keeping one secret from him, so he was trying to get that out of me. Now, before I let you in on the secret, you need to know that he still really likes me, but hasn't told me this, I just get to hear it from everyone else. My secret is that I'm falling for his cousin... and this isn't the first time a girl he's befriended/liked has fallen for his cousin and it was his worst fear that it was going to happen with me. So, I haven't told him, or his cousin. Friday, he sent me an email saying that I should go for it with this guy, whether its someone he's close to or not. And that if I'm happy, he's happy, and all that mumbo jumbo crap. So, I told him. I told him everything. Thinking that he was going to be fine with it. I left Friday to go out of town, and he sent me a text saying we need to talk face to face when I get home, that he knew it was his cousin since Wednesday night, and that he doesn't hate me and probably never will. Yet, he's really upset. Really upset. I know I have to talk to him, and I will when I get home tonight, but I'm so scared he's going to tell me he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. Especially if I start dating his cousin, that might just destroy our friendship for awhile, and I'm not sure I'm ok with that. If anyone has any opinion or advice for me I'd really appriciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 You're awful hard-hearted to want to date the guy's cousin and keep the guy as a 'friend' when you know the guy has feelings for you. How would you be if you had feelings for some fellow who wanted to date your cousin and keep you as a pal on the side? Of course he's upset. You have made your choice - sacrifice the friendship for the dating. Don't expect this guy to hang around hoping to get sloppy seconds if you and the cousin don't work out. Nobody wants to be the runner-up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 Well thanks, I guess. I would say that was kinda harsh, but it wasn't. Just the honest truth. I haven't made any decision yet, I'm still torn inside. I'm sure all will be clear after I talk with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted June 1, 2004 Author Share Posted June 1, 2004 Just so everyone who reads this thread doesn't think I'm completely awful... I sat down and talked to my best friend (the guy who likes me) last night. We were both so nervous about talking that we avoided it for almost two hours! I finally just cut to the chase and asked him why it was bothering him so much that I liked his cousin. He said it bothered him that it took me two months to tell him. We went on to talking about what could possibly happen with our friendship, and that was just so hard. Both of us realizing that if something did happen, things would never be the same. He is encouraging me to go for it with his cousin, and he really thinks I should tell him. He even said if I didn't, he would! When he left, we had this "moment", I realized this is the last time I could be hugging him like this. It tore me apart inside. So, things are all out in the open now... Link to post Share on other sites
Hypatia Posted June 2, 2004 Share Posted June 2, 2004 Wow, this sounded like a rough, rough situation. I'm really happy for you that no one is keeping secrets anymore and I sincerely hope you get to hold onto this friendship. It sounds like you care a lot about each other, and despite who you end up being attracted to, your friendship sounds like it could be unconditional. I hope everything works out for you guys, really. And you're not completely awful. Not at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted June 5, 2004 Author Share Posted June 5, 2004 Thanks Hypatia! Things appear well at the moment, but he's decided to move away after the summer, and he may not come back. So I guess we'll just have to see where the path leads us... Link to post Share on other sites
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