Jump to content

Friend is avoiding me


Buttercup84

Recommended Posts

Buttercup84

My friend asked me to be her Maid of honour, even though she and her partner had not even been dating for a month. The wedding is in October.

 

Long story short: He is abusive and the big drama was that he locked her out and stole her wallet, keys, phone and laptop. We know all this because he logged onto her Fb and told everyone how worthless she is.

 

He called her ****ing fat and wanted to punch her. She forgave him and they are in love. I begged her to leave, even pulled out as a bridesmaid as I would not be part of it.

 

 

Eventually after avoiding me for months, she talked me into being part of the wedding. Few weekends ago, I met up with her and her partner and his friends.

 

Before that, she asked me if I could shame him by bringing up all that happend.

 

She did it herself, and his friends said she should re consider the wedding.

 

She said she is very busy with work, wedding and study and can't see me, even for dinner. We work in the same area so it is not hard.

 

I saw her recently at her work and said we should get dinner. She went quiet and said she cant say when, as she has no time.

 

Next day I see she went out all day with her partner, and today she spent all day with our mutal friend.

 

What bothers me is that she says she has no time, yet there she is going out all the time.

 

She does not even ask me for help with the wedding, though I am her only brides maid.

 

She is avoiding me and it hurts. I feel like she only asked me to go to the bar with them so I could tell everyone what a jerk her man is.

 

Her other friends were more quiet about the abuse, but I was the one who kept trying to get her to leave.

Link to post
Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear

What did you expect? You tried to get her to leave her boyfriend, she disregarded your advice, he knows your opinion of him so he's made it known to her that he doesn't like you. Right or wring, she's chosen him over you. As long as she's with him you 2 won't be friends.

 

You're still a bridesmaid because she's so weak she can't tell you you're out.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Cutiepie1976

Agreed. Wouldn't surprise me if her motivation for asking you to the bar to speak about his behavior was to create drama and an angry argument. Then in the "heat" of the moment she could yell at you that you were out as the Maid of Honor.

 

She has a dysfunctional way of handling conflict. It's either avoidance or public humiliation. Ditto for this fiancé of hers.

 

If she's spending extended time with other friends, has routinely avoided you, and cut you out of all wedding planning, then obviously "maid of honor" is an empty term. You're not really her closest friend or best friend judging from her actions.

 

Many reasons for this, but in your shoes I would have bowed out of the wedding party some time ago, giving her ample time to find someone else. There really is not enough time in this world to deal with all that dysfunction--her, psycho fiancé, lover boy player best man. Let them go and surround yourself instead with healthier friends.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Buttercup84

Thanks guys. Before she met him, she was so different. Will distance myself from that grouo now. God knows what shifty things his friends are into.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sadly, there's really nothing you can do other than let her see for herself. Some people are so blind they can't see past their noses when involved in abusive relationships because out of fear of what their idiotic partners may do if they've been left. You've done all you can do, and now it's on her.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...