Triangle Relationship?

[Crouching Kitten]

Alright, so I want to get close to girl A in my science class but the thing is girl B is making it really hard for me to do so. I think they are friends but I don't think they are super good friends. They seem like very good classmate type of friends. They had the same math and science class together for two semester, so they had only known each other for approximate 6 months. They are currently lab partners with each other. I see them walking to the science class together a lot. I don't see them talk like they would share everything to each other like very good friends, but they seem close enough that they always sit next to each other in lab and lecture hall.

 

Here's the problem: I highly suspect that girl B was interested in me. She would greet and talk to me before but now she pretty much shunned and stop talking to me all of a sudden. I think the reason is that she realized that I'm not interested in her after I didn't partner up with her in lab for another science class, so she's trying to forget me. I really want to apologize to girl B that I didn't partner up with her in my other science class but I'm afraid that it will just revive her interest in me. And then if Girl A and I eventually get closer, it will just shoot her down again, and hell will break loose. I'm 100% certain that girl B do not know that I'm interested in girl A yet. So I really want to get close to girl A but girl B seems like is always with her. The only place that I get to see girl A is our science class. Things would be so much easier if girl B didn't shun me, so I could just approach them both in a friendly way and try to get to know more about girl A. Heck, if girl B is not there at all, I don't even have to hold back on my flirts to girl A. Ever since girl B shunned me she gives me this negative, unfriendly vibe and cold stare whenever I see her. She pretty much just ignores me. It really affects my approach on girl A. She makes me hesitate to try to get close to the girl A. So far I was only able to approach Girl A alone by herself once after class on a rare day.

 

What should I do to best approach girl A? Should I ignore girl B and just do what I want? Would my approach to her affect their relationship? The reason I care is because I'm a nice guy, and girl B and I have the same major which means we will probably have the same class for the upcoming several semesters. Please let me know if you have other suggestions. Thank you for all your inputs!

[Arabella]

You said Girl B used to be friendly to you, so carry on like you haven't noticed that she's being hostile. No apologies. Just approach them in a friendly and upbeat way and talk to them. At some point you can get both their phone numbers (as a good classmate would! You know, to keep in touch about homework...) and then you can start texting Girl A casually.

 

As you get to know Girl A more, the other one will probably sense your interest when she's around both of you and back off. If she doesn't, that's okay. Just do your thing and she will eventually have to take a hint.

 

Good luck!

 

-A

[Crouching Kitten]

You said Girl B used to be friendly to you, so carry on like you haven't noticed that she's being hostile.

 

It's pretty hard to pretend not noticing when she is that obvious. I do try though but I don't know how long it could last when I really try to have a conversation with her.

 

At some point you can get both their phone numbers (as a good classmate would! You know, to keep in touch about homework...) and then you can start texting Girl A casually.

 

To be honest I think it would be a lot harder or even impossible to get Girl B's number (she shunned me) than Girl A's if I approach them at the same time. Maybe I just have to really plan it out and approach Girl A when she's alone. I don't need Girl B's number anyway.

 

 

As you get to know Girl A more, the other one will probably sense your interest when she's around both of you and back off. If she doesn't, that's okay. Just do your thing and she will eventually have to take a hint.

 

Good luck!

 

-A

 

Sounds like I should not worry about their relationship and just get close to her. It seems like it's going to be very difficult but I guess I just have to somehow get Girl A alone and work my magic from there. I just have to tough this out as there's no other ways around it. Thank you for your suggestion, Arabella.

[TaraMaiden]

Find a girl © to go out with, and see the faces of A and B drop when they realise playing games means they missed out.

 

Big time.

[Crouching Kitten]

Find a girl © to go out with, and see the faces of A and B drop when they realise playing games means they missed out.

 

Big time.

 

Hahahahaha! I think that would make Girl B go mad, but she's not the one I want. Plus I think she has given up on me since she decided to not talk to me anymore. I don't think it works on Girl A though. She didn't play any games at all. In fact, it's really hard to tell if she's interested in me since she is very shy and quiet. She doesn't really talk to anyone in class, except sometimes with Girl B. Whenever I talk to girl A, she has this friendly vibe. It's a huge change of vibe when she talks vs. not talking. When she talks it seems like she's a very friendly person. But when she's not talking it seems like she's an introvert. It's really hard to read her. Since she is so quiet and shy, it seems like if I get with other girls, then she will just give up.

[TaraMaiden]

Ask yourself:

If you were to 'get' with girl 'A' - how compatible could you be?

Are you shy, quietly spoken, reserved?

 

Are you the complete opposite?

Consider what you would be like as a couple....

Are you gregarious, fun-loving and outgoing?

Relaxed and comfortable in company?

 

In short, much as you seem to like her, what would going out with her actually be like?

 

Because you need an adequate level in compatibility where socialising is concerned... and either she would cramp your style, or she would feel overwhelmed by the change in atmosphere....

[Crouching Kitten]

Ask yourself:

If you were to 'get' with girl 'A' - how compatible could you be?

Are you shy, quietly spoken, reserved?

 

Are you the complete opposite?

Consider what you would be like as a couple....

Are you gregarious, fun-loving and outgoing?

Relaxed and comfortable in company?

 

In short, much as you seem to like her, what would going out with her actually be like?

 

Because you need an adequate level in compatibility where socialising is concerned... and either she would cramp your style, or she would feel overwhelmed by the change in atmosphere....

 

To be honest I have no idea how compatible we would be. So far all I know is we both share the same hobby of basketball. I would say that I'm innately shy. I have gotten a lot better over the years to the point that some people may view me as social and outgoing because sometimes I could just strike conversation with strangers if I want to. I'm definitely way less shy than before. Nevertheless, I'm still shy deep down. Sometimes I just have to force myself because I don't really see shyness in a guy as a good thing. If I'm have a girlfriend, I will definitely have no problem tuning down my friendliness to other opposite sex. Am I outgoing? At this point I would say not because I stay home most of the time, and sometimes just play some basketball and cycling. I have a lot of acquaintances but I don't have many friends, only a few close friends. I can't really truly find out if we are compatible or not unless we talk more or hang out together. I'm definitely attracted to her physically. Once again, my main obstacle is Girl B in the way whenever I see Girl A. Once I overcome that, then I could just do what I want to get to know her. It's just really hard to approach Girl A when Girl B is around, also Girl A never initiate any actions towards me as I suspect she's that shy. Or I'm just too shy to look at her in class to notice any signals. Who knows maybe she's not interested at all. But I definitely want to find out and I'm ready for rejections if it does happen. Girl B just appears to be my krytonite because it really boggles my mind when girls all of sudden stops talking to me with no apparent reasons. She's the 4th girl that did that to me in my 2 years in college. Do you have any other suggestions overcoming Girl B to get to Girl A, Tara?

[TaraMaiden]

Any way you could write girl A a note, and suggest getting together with her without girl 'B' hanging around?

 

hand it to her, and just make a pointed remark:

 

Please read this when you are alone.

And glare at girl B.

 

In the note, tell her you've been wanting to approach her, nothing heavy, just a coffee maybe, or a burger... but you've felt 'blocked' by girl b.

 

Explain what you'd like to do, and see if she's open to that.....?

 

"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady."

 

Some times, you have to carpe diem, friend.....

[Crouching Kitten]

Any way you could write girl A a note, and suggest getting together with her without girl 'B' hanging around?

 

hand it to her, and just make a pointed remark:

 

Please read this when you are alone.

And glare at girl B.

 

In the note, tell her you've been wanting to approach her, nothing heavy, just a coffee maybe, or a burger... but you've felt 'blocked' by girl b.

 

Explain what you'd like to do, and see if she's open to that.....?

 

"Faint heart ne'er won fair lady."

 

Some times, you have to carpe diem, friend.....

 

A note!!! Ha! I've been thinking about that for awhile but I was afraid that it might come off as creepy since I haven't spoken to her that much, and I really have no idea if she's interested me at all. I also worried that this is girly move. Since you suggested, I guess it's not a bad idea after all. I really have no other better choice to get her alone other than this right? Unless I run after her every time class is over, which I've already done once, as she just leaves without waiting for me. I just don't want to come off as creepy even though I don't have shrines of her posted in my room. However, rather than mentioning Girl B to her I think I'm just going to ask her in the note if she wants to walk with me after class, so I don't have to run after her like an idiot like last time, and only give her two options of both "yes's." This should open her up unless she's really not interested in me at all. I'm just going to ask her number when we walk together, and with that I should be able to get closer to her. Then hopefully she will start initiate more instead of me doing all the work all the time when she feels more comfortable. I just realized that if she does initiate it would be a lot easier for me as I don't have the face Girl B. Thank you for your killer idea, Tara!