a girl likes me that my friend likes and i'm still struggling with a break up

[calgary]

basically, I split up with my girlfriend i'm a total mess about it. I miss her so much.. it happened 6 weeks ago..

 

In the mean time I've just partied with friends, kept busy, tried to cope but not done very well..

 

Lately a girl in the group (that I hooked up with a few years ago) has started looking after me, just like she'll buy me a drink or she'll text me making sure i'm okay, she talks to me about the broken relationship with my ex a lot and I've felt really comforted by having her around she's really helped me with this a lot. I'm really grateful.. but we message constantly about all sorts of things, and she always seems to hint that she wants to be friends with benefits? but just subtle hints i'm picking up on.. I was so drunk the other night getting a ride home we were both sat in the back and I had my arm on the arm rest and she started rubbing the top of my hand/holding it and saying if I need ANYTHING just give her a call or go round..

 

it's like really flirty I can't explain I can just tell. but i'm really not interested, I am still a complete mess.... and my friend really likes her a lot he talks to his mom about advice on how he should take her for dinner and what will impress her (he's not so smooth) but I love him he's an awesome guy and I want her to like him not me.

 

the other night we were playing xbox after he'd dropped her at home, and he text her.. but she didn't text back.. so he asked me to text her.. 2 seconds later she text me back and she hadn't text him. I felt awful.

 

I really don't like this situation. like I said i'm still heartbroken about my ex. I feel like I've told this girl that. but she's still flirty and nothing has happened so I can't turn round and be like ' IM NOT INTERESTED IN YOU' because she'll just make out like she was just acting nice and she's not interested either and probably get mad at me or something ?

 

how do I help my friend step up his game and just take her out?

I've tried talking to her about him, but she doesn't seem too interested, whereas he seems really interested, that in itself seems like me and my ex, it only works for me when it's the other way round.. the more I try the more I push girls away. the less I care the more they seem to want me to care, so I can't really help him because if I knew how to help him, I might have a slight chance of getting my ex back. I don't know the answers I just don't like the situation.

[will1988]

One course of action is to get your friend and this chick to be friends... then you can kind of manipulate the situation and start being a dick around her. She then may get support and advice from your friend and from there he may be to get her to like him. However, that is underhanded and probably wont work.

 

Another option is to be adult and have all 3 of you hang out and openly air your feelings towards each other/ lack there of, and say there will be no hard feelings. Maybe that could work.

 

Honestly though you can't push this girl to like your friend. This girl likes you, not him, and that is probably not likely to switch. Your best bet is to ask her honestly how she feels about your friend, tell your friend honestly about how his crush feels and then help him move on. If you start having feelings for this girl and start messing around you should either tell your friend right away or wait a long time until your friend is fully over her.