Is he the bad guy?

[six18]

My guy friend who I've known for about two years recently told me he was attracted to me and feels he has stronger connection to me than his girlfriend.

 

I told him that's great but nothing can happen between us and I won't even explore the option unless you two are no longer together.

 

I am heading off on vacation next week and he asked if he could meet me and my friends down there. I said sure its fine does your gf know, does she mind? He said no she doesn't know but I don't want her too. that not cool to me and its disrespectful to her.

 

He also gets upset when I bring her up. He calls me at least twice a day to really talk about nothing and on occasion we will hang out at the mall or get something to eat. He wants to know where I am and when I can't hang out or don't provide enough information he gets mad.

 

So I started to distance myself but he said I am making him out to be the bad guy by constantly bringing up his gf. He said him and his gf are in a bad place right now and he wants to break up but he doesn't want to hurt her.

 

I think I am being realistic and logically but maybe he is feeling guilty for having feelings for another girl.

 

BTW I have given him no sense that if he broke up with her we would give it a try or be together. I date other guys keep a full life and I really can't get myself caught up in a imaginary relationship before it happens.

[will1988]

It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants... or rather, he knows what he wants, which is you, but he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants you to date him, or be his side piece, while he is still with his gf. Does that make him a bad guy, maybe, but it does make him indecisive and maybe a coward. Just tell him you don't like him like that, and the only way you would remotely consider dating him is if he was not chained down by any bagge... and even then it is a maybe and not a yes. Also tell him you will not be anyones side piece.

 

good luck!

[Ladybugz]

he is a dog. and he is desperate looking for a ho to cheat with.

and he is very aggressive in that.

 

its great that you say you dont want to get involve

in messing with other people bf.

 

but i have to say your actions are showing the oposite.

 

this what your actions are saying: "i dont want to mess with you, but hey lets hang out, if you call i will give you that attention, yes come on a vacation with me".

 

if you really dont want that mess why do you keep giving him opportunitys to do his

thing with you?

or keep in contact knowing his intentions?

 

make no sense and he knows it to.

 

if you really not that kind of girl stop any kind of contact or hanging outs.

just block him.

he is no good.

and emotions etc comes and can grow when you spent time together.

[Keenly]

he is a dog. and he is desperate looking for a ho to cheat with.

and he is very aggressive in that.

 

its great that you say you dont want to get involve

in messing with other people bf.

 

but i have to say your actions are showing the oposite.

 

this what your actions are saying: "i dont want to mess with you, but hey lets hang out, if you call i will give you that attention, yes come on a vacation with me".

 

if you really dont want that mess why do you keep giving him opportunitys to do his

thing with you?

or keep in contact knowing his intentions?

 

make no sense and he knows it to.

 

if you really not that kind of girl stop any kind of contact or hanging outs.

just block him.

he is no good.

and emotions etc comes and can grow when you spent time together.

 

 

I think you are being a little extreme with the man hating and with your block him suggestion. They are still friends....

[six18]

he is a dog. and he is desperate looking for a ho to cheat with.

and he is very aggressive in that.

 

its great that you say you dont want to get involve

in messing with other people bf.

 

but i have to say your actions are showing the oposite.

 

this what your actions are saying: "i dont want to mess with you, but hey lets hang out, if you call i will give you that attention, yes come on a vacation with me".

 

if you really dont want that mess why do you keep giving him opportunitys to do his

thing with you?

or keep in contact knowing his intentions?

 

make no sense and he knows it to.

 

if you really not that kind of girl stop any kind of contact or hanging outs.

just block him.

he is no good.

and emotions etc comes and can grow when you spent time together.

 

 

We have always been friends and perhaps I can be fueling the fire by accepting his invitations and welcoming him into my group. However not sure I feel that I need to cut him off . I don't think that he is no good as you say either. He really is sweet. I think things are going bad with his gf and he is looking for a way out. some people don't like being alone. But I am not going to be his way out.