Apolodor Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Hello Everyone, I'm a man in my early 40's who has recently started a new job. From the very beginnning I developed a crush on a female coworker in her late 30's (who apparently is single and lives with her dog). She's a gorgeous classy woman, with a fairly busy social life and she's a bit of a high-maintenance sort of gal. Initially, I tried to stifle the feeling I had for her because I know it all too well that it is never a good idea to get your meat from the same place you get you bread. Well, as time passed on, I decided to throw caution to the wind and let myself enjoy the sweetness of the feelings I had for her. After a while, I started to get little signals from her that she could/would be interested in me given the right circumstances. So I decided to send her an anonymous funny card (really innnocent) with an inside joke already printed on it so that she would be able to identify me. It turned out that she got the card on a Friday, which is also the day when most people in the office go to the pub, and she told everyone about it. Instead of stopping, a few days later I asked her if she would like to grab a coffee after work, which she declined politely and very promptly. I have since tried to ring her up outside office hours, but she always ignored me. Eventually I left her a text message in which I apologized for my behaviour. Again, she shared everything I did with the rest of the office... Right now I feel deeply humiliated: some women in the office smile or laugh when they see me, women who had some interest in me have started to ignore me and stopped talking to me completely, and other males who fantasized about my crush are simply rude and unfriendly. I cannot understand why this woman chose to humiliate me publicly, I can take rejection on a personal level, but involving the rest of the world in it excessively cruel. She also gave a detailed account of my actions to my manager (who is a pompous prick I can't stand). Will I be able to mend things without quitting my job? This was kind of my dream job, so I am very angry with myself for allowing things to take this turn. Any help/advice would be much appreciated. A. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 "Rise Above". Posts #2 and #10, from me.... It's all you can do to retrieve, nurture and maintain your dignity and integrity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apolodor Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Juicez, thank you for your advice. I agree with you, but it's not as simple as that. After I sent the card, I knew other people knew about it because they were looking at me in a funny way the next Monday. But my name was not on the card, although my crush knew very well that it was from me. A couple of days later she came to talk some job-related stuff and she stood way too close to me (our faces almost touched) and she had a very cute smile while staring straight into my eyes. You see, she was setting me up while I was thinking that maybe she actually liked me. This is something that I find very cruel. Why mess with a man's head if you know you are not going to give him a chance. There were other small changes in her behaviour that indicated interest, otherwise I would have never taken it to the asking-out stage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Apolodor Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 Can you retrieve your integrity when everyone looks to you like some sort of major pervert? I worked really for the past 5 months to project a serious image of a hardworking guy and this woman just destroyed it in minutes..... The more I think about it the more I realise that I need to start looking for a new job. My credibility at my current workplace is shot. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Can you retrieve your integrity when everyone looks to you like some sort of major pervert? I worked really for the past 5 months to project a serious image of a hardworking guy and this woman just destroyed it in minutes..... The more I think about it the more I realise that I need to start looking for a new job. My credibility at my current workplace is shot. can you explain what happened?integrity is the way you hold yourself not when things are sweet and running smoothly but when you are tested and pushed to your limits that is when integrity can be seen outwardly it exists as that strong feeling at your core of who you are..... so can you explain what happened? Link to post Share on other sites
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