How to restrain my feelings around a married woman?

[Biscous]

I'm in an interesting situation where I've befriended a woman who I find myself on some level attracted to. Physically stunning, of course there are others, I noticed her at the gym from time to time and wanted to talk to her.

 

One day I helped her with getting weight off a machine and I needed some myself and she introduced herself to me. I noticed that she's serious about training as I am so we have been training twice a week.

 

As friendship I do enjoy helping her out, training, she said she hasn't met anyone like me in this respect and for some reason we've felt extremely similar to one another in terms of our situations and lives we had growing up, which is interesting considering she's an Eastern European that just moved here with her husband, and me an African American guy raised in the south.

 

I'm 29, she's 30. We've connected a lot on different subjects. Similar interests in certain sports, we can discuss science.

 

Alright. I find this woman extremely beautiful and smart. Our friendship has accelerated to her saying she doesn't even know me to her telling me initimate things about her she hasn't told lifelong friends of hers. Minimum touching on our end of course, but I've noticed her do small things like get stuff off of my face, etc. The first times I saw her it was as though she couldn't control laughing around me about small things.

 

Attraction is there. I feel it, but she's a lady I'm a gentleman. I don't think either of us would cross that line but you never know until you are in that situation. I feel as though in this part of my life it is great to have met someone like her. I have few friends having moved to a new city and she is entirely new to America. She's expressed interest in myself and her husband meeting and doing something. He has a weird schedule which prevents that currently, but I know that emotions can play tricks on you.

 

I'm worried about my own emotions in this case where I *might* end up falling for her. I talk to other women currently but right now I've been focusing on my work life and not my love life having gotten out of a relationship.

 

Where I live I find very few women I find even physically attractive, let alone those can match me emotionally and intellectually. I think part of me admires my new friend for that because she has made me realized that there are better/more compatible women out there for me coming out of a relationship with a woman that was not quite emotionally mature. I like the female perspective.

 

My thing is can I make sure that I surpress these feelings around her enough and have a successful friendship with her? Maybe this feeling is ephemeral. I'm not sure. I feel OK being around her now but emotions be damned sometimes. Thoughts?

[wanderluster]

Maybe my story can help you?

I am married I had a secret messaging affair with a boy, and it lead to a passionate kiss.

I also couldn't control myself.

I know you won't be thinking about this but..

When my husband found out, it DESTROYED HIM.

This poor innocent man will never ever trust anyone fully ever again.

My husband left me, and although that boy still tried to get in contact.. I could not give a crap...

I cried for months, it will cause her a lot of emotional anguish, please don't thrust this pain upon this beautiful woman..

I left that boy like a piece of trash.. You will never have a real place in her life..

She will drop you in a heart beat for her marriage.

There are plenty of beautiful girls in the world.

But wrecking a home is a cruel and life changing decision!!

I'm glad you are trying to restrain your feelings...

[lorainsmith]

Just make sure you are being real with her in every way, the fact she made herself available to u is the best thing. you both share a common thing. ....so just continue strong.

[Biscous]

Maybe my story can help you?

I am married I had a secret messaging affair with a boy, and it lead to a passionate kiss.

I also couldn't control myself.

I know you won't be thinking about this but..

When my husband found out, it DESTROYED HIM.

This poor innocent man will never ever trust anyone fully ever again.

My husband left me, and although that boy still tried to get in contact.. I could not give a crap...

I cried for months, it will cause her a lot of emotional anguish, please don't thrust this pain upon this beautiful woman..

I left that boy like a piece of trash.. You will never have a real place in her life..

She will drop you in a heart beat for her marriage.

There are plenty of beautiful girls in the world.

But wrecking a home is a cruel and life changing decision!!

I'm glad you are trying to restrain your feelings...

 

Thank you for this.

 

Just make sure you are being real with her in every way, the fact she made herself available to u is the best thing. you both share a common thing. ....so just continue strong.

 

What do you mean being real with her in every way? Part of me FEELS I am not some time because if she were single our relationship would be different.

 

I do value her as a friend and I've told her about my past relationships since we have a myriad of topics of stuff. She has only been with her husband her entire life, but we've talked about other things.

 

Also yes, it is rare to have such commonality with a person and I appreciate it and actually value her as a person. She looks up to me. I think that's the cool thing about it and if I truly love/care for her as a person I should respect our limits.