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huge argument with friend, not sure what to make of it


amolya

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Yesterday, i posted a pic on my friend's wall - a funny pic about blowjobs. The consequent comment thread involved him, a mutual friend and his ex, and he was basically joking that his ex should give him a blowjob, etc. Well i commented saying "haha, nothing like asking your ex for a blowjob eh". A few minutes later, and that comment was deleted and I received some angry texts from said friend, saying stuff along the lines of "what were you thinking!? are u f**** stupid? why do i tell you stuff? you shouldn't have put that on FB " etc etc. Apparently not many people know about their relationship, and it needs to stay that way because people would talk s**t to his family. (FYI he is a muslim, so apparently his community frowns upon dating). Anyway, I didn't know it was a big secret (he is pretty liberal himself), and i've seen posts on his wall by other friends eg tagging a picture of 2 statues with him and his ex, and other banter. No-one specifically has mentioned she is his ex, but it's pretty obvious from these posts, if you KNOW they were together.

Anyway, so he rants at me, and then says I'm not very 'perceptive' and basically says I'm stupid, and that I make a lot of misjudgements. Another example, is once I was greeting a mutual friend, and I tried to hug him, which was awkward because he is a devout muslim who does not touch girls until marriage. Which is fine, but it was honest mistake, I didn't know. And mentioning the ex was also an honest mistake - I don't have any malicious intentions AT ALL. But I realize I screwed up. I apologized to my friend in question, but tried to defend myself when he said I'm not perceptive ; I told him I don't appreciate people making judgments about my character/who I am based on a few honest mistakes, but he insisted that's who I am.

 

Anyway, this mini **** storm has left me both upset and angry. I just need some outside perspective. Have I overreacted? Has he overreacted? How can I make things better?

 

TIA

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Frankly, he sounds like a jerk.

How were you suppose to know blowjob comments in his BLOWJOB thread were forbidden?

What, is he "f***ing stupid?"

 

If you're interested in his friendship, a lot matters on what happens now.

You've apologized.

Now is he gracious enough to apologize back for his hurtful comments?

(And those were awfully mean comments.)

Is he at all interested in assuming some responsibility for the situation that led to the fight?

Is he AWARE he seemingly projected a lot of paranoia onto your FB comment?

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT FIRST FFS!!

( Sorry, I'm having a Lewis Black moment.)

 

Let how he acts now be additional indicators of his character--and let his actions going forward help you decide if you want to remain friends.

 

Man.

Edited by cerridwen
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