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Looking for a middle ground

Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 5th November 2012, 3:03 PM   #1
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Looking for a middle ground

My long term bf and I (We plan on marrying) introduced my gf to a family member of his. Well that very same weekend she met another man where we live and slept with him. Being the family member is a close family member of his we feel like we know something that could hurt him if her gets closer to my friend and could end up also resenting us if we did not warn him.

I tried telling my gf but it is falling on deaf ears or going right over her head. She is getting a divorce and the family member we introduced her to thought they could get to know one another. She has been CONSTANTLY talking about the other guy and now we found out they are going out on a date REAL soon. We feel overall they are grown adults but also that we know something that could be important to him to know to keep from getting burned. I have talked to my friend and have thought of asking her if she is dating them both.

My dilemma is that I am spending my life with this man and we both feel bad and if they became a couple, it is a very close member of his family, he could resent us for not telling him. They could always run into the other guy that lives in town here too and could be a big mess.

The family member has not dated in like ten years and hascocentrated on raising his child. He may be ready to date but we dont want to be the reason of him getting hurt again...he is a great guy I happen to know and would have NEVER introduced them had I known my friend was more all over the board then she told us. Overall this is none of our business, but it will be if the you know what hits the fan and he resents us...the last thing my bf or I need in either of our families is any more drama. We are very laid back, loving, and accepting people except when it comes to people getting hurt. We have alot of compassion and we feel we also brought this about.

What to do? Any ideas or thoughts? I would appreciate any thoughts or anyone who has dealt firsthand with anything like this.
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Old 5th November 2012, 3:06 PM   #2
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Like you said, they are adults, I wouldn't meddle. It's up to them to decide if they are exclusive or not. Until that agreement is made, she can date whoever she wants. I don't see how the family member could justify resenting you since they are simply dating?
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