P1xie Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 I met this couple couple through my boyfriend. The guy is my bf best friend. I became close to his wife but also like the husband. My friend felt that I should tell her everything that he was saying. I told them both I did not want to get in the middle of it and I was not going to play he said she said. That I was there if she wanted someone to listen. I was also concerned that her husband would feel funny going over to his best friend's house because I was friends with his wife. I know this is a hard time and I did not want him to feel uncomfortable coming over if he wanted to hang out with my boyfriend. I told him the same thing that I was not going to get involved. Now she says I do not know how to be a friend. That I felt it was more important to make him comfortable than be her friend. She was very upset because I would not say what he was saying (he never say anything bad) I told her that if he was saying bad things about her then I would let her know but he doesn't. She told me and some other girl a secret. The other girl told him and she was convinced that I told him and was spying for him. That was about the time I left her house. Later her husband told her the truth about who was talking but instead of apologizing for accusing me she reprimanded me for not being a friend stating that she would forgive me because I just didn't know ho to be a friend. Stating that is what girls do "Gossip". Am I not being a friend here? This is hard because I like them both and do not feel that I should have to choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Fofinha Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Iiiiiiiiiiii! You shouldn't get involved AT ALL. I would NOT take sides and simply walk away from any "he said" / "she said" confrontation. Link to post Share on other sites
jaxom_liam Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 despite any lack of experience in this, I probably have a clearer perspective, you seem to be put in a situation you dont deserve and the wife is obviously manipulating you and appears to want to take advantage of being in her husbands trust, i throw serious doubts about this persons security. All i want to say to this is when she starts telling you off for not being a friend follow fofinhas advice and just walk away sometimes you cant make everyone comfortable but at some stage your are going to have to do what you need to do and that appears to either walk away or tell her point blank if she has a problem with you not willing to gossip then she isnt your real friend Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 ...Now she says I do not know how to be a friend. That I felt it was more important to make him comfortable than be her friend. She was very upset because I would not say what he was saying (he never say anything bad) I told her that if he was saying bad things about her then I would let her know but he doesn't... I do not understand all of this, and have read your initial post four times. From what I can tell, you befriended a couple that were already friends with your boyfriend. This couple is married. You are best friends with the woman, and are friends with the man as well. I also gather that this woman is very nosey, and expected you to divulge every detail of her husband's visits to your boyfriend. What I cannot understand is why in the world she should be upset if her husband has never said anything bad about her. Friends are not spies. You stated that if you felt she ought to know something you would definitely tell her about it. However, I simply cannot understand why she is upset over what I feel is absolutely nothing. To me it appears she has serious trust issues, or is just an extremely nosey woman. Introduce this lady to a hobby. Link to post Share on other sites
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