nibfam Posted March 4, 2004 Share Posted March 4, 2004 About a month ago I moved from a small town in the Midwest to the east coast--I am temp staying with my best friend, let's call her X, from college--we both attended a large east coast university, she graduated and I had originally dropped out (2 classes shy) and finally finished up this past year. I am now working as a paralegal, I recently completed a certificate program out in the Midwest which I could afford and was also ABA approved. I dropped out for various reasons, but one of them was I could not handle school--yeah, I know, it took me till my senior year to discover this, I was having some emotional issues that I was choosing not to deal with and things built up so much that I think I kind of had some kind of brain meltdown/nervous breakdown, things were getting so bad that I would sometimes just in the middle of doing whatever, I would blank out and just start to freak out, I could be in the middle of giving a speech and suddenly forget what I was doing--my therapist said I had post traumatic stress disorder. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person but I was not disciplined in school, and that really screwed me up. Now I am quite amazed at how much more disciplined I am and how I can stay on a task and really concentrate. But I think that happened because I worked for a couple of years at a low paying but demanding job that made me learn to multi-task. O.K. so I had to give you some background in order to present my problem--so I am living with X--she invited me to stay with her for awhile. It is very nice to be with her in many ways, she is a native of the city and shows me around and has introduced me to many of her friends. One of her friends who she hangs out a lot, let us call her Y, (this is starting to sound like a algerbra problem) recently broke up with her boyfriend and is now hooked up with one X's co-workers--let us call him Z--they met mutually through X--now to make things complicated, my friend X had a crush on him, and she told Y that she did, and while Y was still with her former boyfriend she told X that she would try to fix her up with Z-well, as you can see, that did not work out. Now, technically, when Y and Z got together, my roomate friend X was with someone anyway, but I think she is not really attracted to him, but he is really into her and she is just stringing him along. My friend X is complaining now all the time now about how Y has totally betrayed her. She obsesses about this all the time, and since we live in a rather small apt, I have to listen to this all the time. Finally I broke down and asked her in my most diplomatic voice, if she really wants to know what I think--she said yes!yes! yes!--so I told her that Y is a idiot, she should forget her and I asked X if she really likes her current guy- or is he just someone who fills up her time till she finds someone else better. Well, X got really offended and starting going off on me about all the times, in the past, that I was totally disfunctional and everything. I told her, yes, I had problems in the past and there is no way getting over that and hopefully I have learned from my mistakes. She then went off about how she has allready paid off more than 3/4 of her student loans and I have barely made a dent--well, I explained to her about the fact that I was spent a little more time in school than her, well, I was so upset I started crying. I left the apt to get some fresh air, and when I came back, X's boyfriend was there and X told me she wanted me out of the apt by next week and I should apologize to her boyfriend for what I said about him. He is a big guy and I really thought he was going to deck me. I don't think I can find a place so quick, I have only been with her for a month and I am getting panicky. One part of me doesn't feel bad at all for telling her how I feel, but at the same time I feel, guilty, but I also am really pissed off at her. We have been friends for eight years, I thought I could be honest with her. I feel like the betrayed one. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 Try to find a new roommate, or attempt to move out on your own. Your friend has asked you to leave, it may seem sudden and rude, but if it was her apartment, you really don't have a choice. If you were actually afraid of physical violence from your friend's boyfriend, it doesn't sound like a safe place to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
jaxom_liam Posted March 20, 2004 Share Posted March 20, 2004 although it may appear to be a harder road you are going to have to leave x to all her twisted problems, she appears to have an intricate web of dramas occuring in her life and she sounds like one of those people who always needs something going on and every1 to be agreeing with her to be happy. your best bet is to seperate yourself from her although she may have helped u in the short term in the long term she can be nothing but negative for u Link to post Share on other sites
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