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How to apologize to a friend for not keeping in touch w/o excusing your actions?


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I have lost touch with friends due to a culmination of stress in my life, which got out of hand. I became very overwhelmed and developed a sort of social anxiety, which is where the cutting off started. I'm from an island, so cutting off was fairly easy yet got out of control... As I'm just starting to "wake up", I just found out a good friend of the past is getting married and I want to congratulate her as well as touch base with her about all that has happened in the past 2 years... But I don't want it to sound like I'm getting in contact simply because of the wedding... This is with most of my friends, and this procrastination with writing is becoming a vicious cycle of fear of rejection hence putting off contacting... Even though I desperately want to and miss the friendship we had. Thoughts?

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january2011

To be honest, I don't see a problem with getting in touch because of the wedding - is there more to the story that you haven't included in the OP? It is a big life-change for her and as former good friend, it would not seem out of the ordinary to congratulate her and re-connect.

 

I suggest, "Hey BrideToBe, I heard that you were getting married and wanted to wish you well/congratulate you. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for the last couple of years. I know you're probably really busy because of the wedding, but I'd love to meet up and have a chat to catch up whenever you're free. Love/best wishes, Celtica."

 

Then you can think of what to say to her if/when you do meet up.

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To be honest, I don't see a problem with getting in touch because of the wedding - is there more to the story that you haven't included in the OP? It is a big life-change for her and as former good friend, it would not seem out of the ordinary to congratulate her and re-connect.

 

Thanks for the post.

She had written to me last year in an email wishing me a happy birthday, to which I never responded. She had been sick that previous year and had to get brain scans, etc. but she lived in an entirely different state. Now am the one who got sick this past year, very hopeless and unhealthy... I feel that I should tell her that later on but what she had puts mine to shame...

 

I suggest, "Hey BrideToBe, I heard that you were getting married and wanted to wish you well/congratulate you. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch for the last couple of years. I know you're probably really busy because of the wedding, but I'd love to meet up and have a chat to catch up whenever you're free. Love/best wishes, Celtica."

 

Then you can think of what to say to her if/when you do meet up.

 

 

I like it! To the point yet so delicate... I think that's what's needed. Thank you, January2011!

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january2011

Hey, no worries. You can go more in-depth when you meet her or a bit further down the line, if you decide that it's appropriate to do so. Though she may be so caught up in the wedding prep that you might get a free pass to not talk so much about what's going on with you.

 

Good luck!

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Good point. I know she's not planning on having the wedding for a bit, or at least it looks like it, but that's something to find out I guess. I really would like to go to her wedding. Kinda sad how I lost touch and came back around to find out I missed out on a big, important chunk of her life. Oh well, at least the wedding hasn't happened yet!

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florence of suburbia

Your real friends will just be glad to hear from you. They won't dwell on the time you were gone.

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Your real friends will just be glad to hear from you. They won't dwell on the time you were gone.

 

Huh. I seem to always be a little bit bitter when friends don't respond for a long time or fade away. But maybe that's because my best friend in grade school did that to me after she moved to another state, which is something I never really emotionally resolved...

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florence of suburbia
Huh. I seem to always be a little bit bitter when friends don't respond for a long time or fade away. But maybe that's because my best friend in grade school did that to me after she moved to another state, which is something I never really emotionally resolved...

 

Some people will fade away, that's true. But there are also those friendships that can pick up right where you left off.

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