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On/off friendship


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I have a very strange friendship with a guy I've known almost all of my life. We grew up together, and became close friends about 5 years ago, and during high school we were very close and even dated at one point. After we broke up, we took some time off for awhile, but eventually went back to being friends because we're very compatible and have always been able to talk to each other easily. We go to school in different states, but when we're in our home state, we live only 5 minutes apart. That makes it easy for us to hang out on breaks, and we usually do quite often. Even when we're not hanging out in person, we usually talk on the phone or online before we go to sleep at night. It feels like a genuine friendship and I value it very much. However, the problem arises whenever he goes back to his apartment in New York, where he goes to school. I still do my best to maintain a long-distance friendship with him through Facebook and texting, and I try to organize video chats and phone calls. Sometimes thinks work out and we have long conversations like usual, but most of the time he will go days without responding to anything I say at all. I never try calling him out of the blue because I know he's out with friends or entertaining people often, and I don't want to interrupt. And I know that this sort of thing causes him to be busy and not have as much time to talk to me online, but would it kill him to respond to a text more than once? I've seen him text people back when he's hanging out with me, so I don't see why he can't respond to me even if he's with other friends. It just doesn't make sense that he puts in so much effort when we're both in the same place, but little to none when we aren't. He's asked me to visit him in the city but I don't really have time to right now because of work and other obligations, so for now that's out of the question. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience with a friend, and if you were able to talk to them about and work something out. I really don't want to cause tension and strain our relationship, but honestly, it feels strained from my side already, and I just don't know if I can consider someone a good friend if they don't make any effort to communicate with me unless it's convenient for them.

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