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Should I write to him?


kalypso09

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I'm new to this message board (actually, all message boards). I needed some advice about a co-worker/friend who moved a few months ago.

 

 

We worked together for two years. There was some chemistry between us, but I was a chicken and didn't let anything develop beyond small talk. He repeatedly tried to get my attention and obviously wanted a friendship (or more), but he was kind of my boss (although not a direct supervisor), and although I really wanted something to happen, I had many anxieties about an office romance forming.

 

 

He has always been kind to me except for a time last spring when he tried playing some jealousy mind games with me. He liked me to see him getting attention paid to him by other women. He'd hang around these women and flirt with them and watch me to see my reaction. Some advice I'd been given told me that this is a very bad sign in a man, but upon some personal reflection, I think it is a normal tactic for someone who is frustrated. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

 

My second question deals with my contacting him now. He moved back home to his native Germany in October. We said good-bye and good luck to each other. It was obviously impotant for him to say good-bye to me, since we work in seperate floors of the same building and he had to track me down to say farewell. He could have just as easily not said anything to me and left.

 

 

I miss his smiles. I miss his hellos. I miss everything about him and I want to contact him. The trouble is, I am second-guessing myself, and need some good advice. I've written a letter to him and although he didn't give me his new address (and I didn't ask) I found it listed in the German white pages online--it was public info and I didn't pay a fee. Should I send my letter? Would it be too creepy?

 

 

If you were in his position, how would you feel if you had been trying for two years to get to know someone better, but they were never very encouraging? And once you left, they wanted to begin a friendship with you? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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waitingfordecember

Sometimes you really just have to take a risk.

 

If I heard from somebody I liked (and by the sounds of it, both of you liked eachother to some degree) I'd be surprised and delighted. Not frightened.

 

It's not like you're going to tell him you love him or tell him anything out of the blue or completly "off-beat." It's just a friendly letter.

 

Tell him the truth about finding the address. Tell him you miss his smile and the avid chit chat. Ask him how he's doing, and what's new in your world.

 

What's the worst that could happen?

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