Jump to content

Engaged and girls best friend seems interested


Palemo2k3

Recommended Posts

OK, I think I lust for my fiancee's best friend.

 

The other night, we both got a little pissed and things started to turn to the sexual talk. This went on before my fiancee got home and a little while with her involved in the conversation. We went to bed, and her best friend wanted to sleep in the bed with us (nothing sexual), however during the night she started playing with my feet. As at tester I put my arm on her (pretending I was asleep), she grabbed my arm and wrapped it around herself.

 

Now, her bf is away from weeks at a time, then back for a couple of weeks, so it might of been a combination of lonliness and alcohol.

 

What I wanted to know is what people think of this.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I think unless you want your relationship (with your fiance) to fail, you cease inappropriate contact with the friend, and make it verbally clear that it needs to stop.

 

(edit) Additionally, if you feel like you can't be with just one person, or the need to sabotage your relationship, reassess your marriage plans. Better now than later.

Link to post
Share on other sites

also know that this girl's interest may have very little to do with you personally.

 

that she is your fiancee's best friend points to a dysfunctional and competitive dynamic between them.

 

why do you put an arm on her?

 

why did you guys allow her in the bed?

 

i definitely know how it is with drinking, cuddling, and parties - but these are kids' games. they are not the games of almost married, ostensibly monogamous, people.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with Jenny. Why are you playing with fire? Are you committed to your fiancee or not? If what you're describing goes one step further, you're going to lose her AND screw up her friendship with this girl. Is that really what you want?

Link to post
Share on other sites

but I'll add that the friendship will be screwed up, if it is screwed up, by this "friend." You need to recognize that this girl does not have an honest agenda. For whatever reasons, maybe she's at a low point in her life, whatever, she is deliberately playing with fire. I can see that you were caught off-guard and perhaps feel flattered by it. But recognize that this is NOT a good thing to be seeing from your fiancee's best friend. And recognize that you need to be very careful to not let her waywardness ensnare you in something you'll very much regret.

 

Since you already seem to have some difficulty in recognizing inappropriate behavior from her, and don't always respond to her as you should, perhaps you just ought to make a rule for yourself that the two of you won't be alone together... and should you find yourself unavoidably alone with her you will be careful to minimize that alone time and to not encourage her in any way.

 

And for heaven's sake, no more allowing her into your bed!

Link to post
Share on other sites

I was definately caught off guard, and up to the other night didnt really think all that much of all. Since it happened however, I seem to be thinking about her in a different light - maybe I am a little flattered, maybe it is good for the ego, I dont know.

 

We have seen her since, but nothing was mentioned and I didnt really talk to her. I just wanted to guage from the people here if they thought it meant something or not. I won't take any action from it, and I guess I put my arm around her because I was a little interested in the outcome.

 

Should we put the situation down to alcohol and the fact that her partner works away a lot (and has been away current for 3 weeks)?

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...