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How can you say you love her if you can't even eat her poop?


Spades Slick

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Spades Slick

My friend is having some existential crisis over this. His girlfriend of 3 years asked him to eat her poop, and he's freaking out, considering breaking up with her.

 

this is a woman who's beautiful, intelligent, and loves him more than anything. Honestly, what's the big deal?

 

I really wanna help him get over this tiny little thing. He'll be heartbroken if he loses her.

 

But i just dont get it. How can he honestly say he loves her if he can't even eat her poop?

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Oh, this made me laugh.

:lmao:

 

If someone wants their poop eaten, they should get a dog. Dogs enjoy this sort of thing. To them it's haute cuisine. But they also think dead things make very excellent cologne.

Poop is not for people to nom on. :D:D:D

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Spades Slick
He won't lose her if he eats her poop.. that is the answer then.. he just needs to eat it..

 

i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??

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dreamingoftigers

He could say that he loves her a lot more easily without her poop in his mouth.

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i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??

 

Are you asking for tips on how to talk your "friend";) into eating poop so he can stay in the relationship???

 

He should be paranoid about it.

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Spades Slick
Are you asking for tips on how to talk your "friend";) into eating poop so he can stay in the relationship???

 

He should be paranoid about it.

 

yes, except without the winky face and quotes

 

i see nothing wrong at all with eating her poop

 

what's the big deal?

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Spades Slick

No i'm not, this is really worrying me because hwen he gets depressed i have to deal with it because we're best bros, but i really dont understand what his problem here is and i need help understanding because he says that it's not just him

 

im sorta offended you're even accusing me of such a thing, i came here looking for some honest help... :(

Edited by Spades Slick
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My friend is having some existential crisis over this. His girlfriend of 3 years asked him to eat her poop, and he's freaking out, considering breaking up with her....

 

....But i just dont get it. How can he honestly say he loves her if he can't even eat her poop?

Oh, man... This thread just cries out for Gold Pile's participation... Where are you when we need you, buddy?

 

i know that, but how do i get him to stop being so paranoid about it so he wont be a depressed pile of crap for the next few months??

Heh, funny you should pick that particular phraseology... Either eat it or become it - is that your take on his situation?

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  • 3 weeks later...

Troll nonsense. Anyone who would do that would be a damn fool. What kind of woman would require that of her SO and then grant him love for doing it. It's disgusting in every dimension.

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No i'm not, this is really worrying me because hwen he gets depressed i have to deal with it because we're best bros, but i really dont understand what his problem here is and i need help understanding because he says that it's not just him

If you, OP, don't understand that it is WAY out of the norm to expect someone to eat your poop as a test of love and devotion, then of course you will not be able to understand what his problem is.

 

We all understand that, so we completely understand what his problem is.

 

It seems like there are two compatible people in the room here: you and your best bud's GF both seem to think it's no big deal to expect someone to eat your poop. I think you should snap this girl up at the first opportunity, as it sounds like a match made in heaven to me...

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I wouldn't do it for anyone, not even Matt Damon.

 

not even Ryan Gosling.

not even Ryan Gosling's character Noah Calhoun in The Notebook (best guy ever).

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I see that you've heard of Night Shift Nurses (I haven't seen it. Somebody else watch it for me and report back).

 

Google the title of this thread. I knew that I'd read that quote before.

Edited by Saul Goodman
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I think the issue is that the OP's girlfriend has already his poop eaten. The OP is having a difficult time explaining to his friend mutuality in a relationship and how it must be respected.

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OP: Sorry your friend's having such a crappy time with his girl. Reach out to her, tell her to eat his favorite food 24 hours before, and then tell your best bro to chill out and not be such a Debbie Downer about it. Dung deal, man.

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