whatdoido1717 Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 Hey all, question regarding my friends and my Ex. If you have followed my posts at all, I am not talking about my most recent Ex, instead my Ex before her, with whom I was together over 2 years and broke up with in the beginning of October. For all intensive purposes, this has been the most important Ex in my life and the best/strongest/most loving relationship I have had. While we were together she became friends with my close-knit group in my home town as we hung out with them all the time. About a month after my most recent breakup, and roughly 6 or 7 months after our break up she text me in the middle of the night saying "Z?" We have exchanged a couple text message conversations since then, nothing life altering. I recently found out that she is going up this weekend to hang out with my group of friends, which in itself I have no issue with as I know they were all close. What I find a little disrespectful, in particular by "friends" of mine and by her to some extent, is that one of the guys from our circle of friends, somebody I would consider a friend, although not as close with as others, is trying to set my Ex up with another mutual acquaintance. This mutual acquaintance hangs out in our circle fairly often and is very good friends with my buddy who is tryin to hook the two up. Now the two of them are talking constantly and he is part of the reason she is going up this weekend. Do you find this disrespectful at all? How would he feel if he broke up with his current gf, who he is very much in love with, and a couple months down the road I tried to hook her up with my buddy who also runs in the same crowd as us. If that is the amount of respect these guys have for my feelings than F that. There is only one person in that group, my best friend, who I REALLY care about, the rest, I could cut them out of my life (since I have to drive all the way to my home town on the weekends to kick it anyway) fairly quickly if I knew for sure they were tryin to set something like this up. I am certainly not going to go kick it with them if she is dating somebody and gonna be around with him when I go up. And why would I wanna kick it with people who don't take my feelings into consideration. But maybe, they figured it was okay since I moved on and was dating somebody new. Am I wrong here? Overreacting? I feel like this is breaking some kind of "guy code" on how you should respect boundaries concerning the Ex's of your friends. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Maoky Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I think you are overreacting. The friends you describe don't seem that close (except that best friend of yours), so you can't expect them to read your mind. I mean, it's been more than 6 months, and they think you've moved on because you're dating someone new. I don't think it was disrespectful on their part. They could be more sensitive with the whole 'bro code' if you guys were closer, but situations like these happen sometimes, and you can't exactly forbid it. Who knows, maybe your ex and that guy won't even work out. I don't tend to follow posts so I don't know any more about your situation, but for now, just accept it and move on. If you feel uncomfortable with your group when she comes up, suck it up or don't hang out with them as much. All the best =) Link to post Share on other sites
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