ladybug48 Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 one of my once close friends has turned into a drunk. he goes out drinking 7 nights a week and has been doing this for quite a while now (2 or more years). recently i sent out an invitation to a halloween party. i did not invite him, for several reasons: i still live with my parents (i am in my early 20s btw), my sister will also have friends at this party, and i have grown to dislike him and do not trust him anymore. i have talked to him many times about his drinking. i have told him everything i think, but yet he still does not seem to understand that he is a drunk. he says he is not a drunk b/c he can handle himself drunk. and, years ago he was totally against drinking b/c his dad is an alcoholic. another of my friends told him that he has turned into everything he hates, his dad (who was abusive, mind you). so, last night while at a pub he brought up that he was not invited. i told him the reasons, but he said to call him today when he is sober. he also claimed that those aren't real reasons and that i have problems. i know that there is nothing i can say that will make him think he is a drunk. and for the record, i'm not completely against drinking. i do drink myself, and i think there is a time and a place. but, when a person drinks everyday, they seem to lose a sense of themselves....and become irritable, rude, and whatever else, just like my friend. while discussing it last night, my boyfriend remained silent (which was ok, but it makes me wonder what he really thinks. i do intend to ask him). and, my other guy friend tended to stick up for him b/c as he said himself, "i am turning into a drunk too." i really don't understand. am i being unreasonable to stay away from him and not invite him to my party? am i overreacting? i have also noticed that whenever the drunk friend is around he eggs on my other friends (mostly guys) to drink more, including my boyfriend. i really, really hate this. the immaturity factor seems so great that i can't stand it. while i do think it is fun to drink once in a while or socially, i have never thought drinking will make a person better or impress people. i am supposed to call "the sober him" today to discuss why i do not want him there or to invite him to the party, which i do not want. i would appreciate any opinions, advice, etc. thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 Alcoholism is a dangerous, destructive disease. Of course people who are hooked will get defensive about it. Of course they will slang you and tell you are 'wrong', 'overreacting', etc. Stick to your principles. You are right about this and if your friends all insist all is perfectly fine as they continue to let alcohol intrude into their lives, you may have to decide whether being considered the wrong and bad person in this is worth it. We just had posts yesterday about the huge problems in Britain; that many people get defensive about drinking to excess will never make it right and caving to peer pressure will make you part of the problem, too. Link to post Share on other sites
ladybug48 Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 thank you, moimeme for the reply. i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one in this position. i will stick to my beliefs, and should my friends choose drinking over being themselves or good people, then i will have to distance myself. if i am the bad or wrong person as they may think, then so be it. i have heard way too many stories from family members about excessive drinking. it can be disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
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