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He wants to talk dirty. What is he doing??


wierdmunky

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I have a friend who I'm kind of close with, have not got physical or anything and we do a lot of running lakeside for exercise, and techy talk. There's a thing about my friend though. He wants to be able to talk "dirty" and flirty over the phone. At first I thought we just joking around and I finally was asking him why does he have to talk to me like that, as in how do you feel like doing that and being able to call me a "friend". I can't joke THAT dirty with a friend like it's TO him, and call him just a friend. He says, at the end of the night we're going to hang up and that's it, I can't joke with you? It's not like I'm serious. He says he's really cool with some girl friends that are married and have personal talks about eachothers sex lives with eachother. He kind of contradicts himself a lot, and I'm told him he's just taking advantage of this middle ground somewhere because in HIS head, he still hasn't completely put me in the friend zone. I told him HOW, and he says to tell him he has no chance blah blah, so I DO right then and there, and he still goes aw common...etc etc.... in a joking WAY. I kinda feel like we're going in circles, I'm very linear, and directive oriented, so I can totally tell, he just thinks I'm someone who he's really attracted to, and can joke with but at the same time I've always made my boundaries CLEAR in a nice way if that's possible. I'm starting to think it's not. I consider myself a "good" girl, as in I don't really party, am in church, like to talk about stuff happening in the world, goals, family, sounds pretty boring to a lot of people probably.. and I think he likes to see where he can get with me talking wise. I'm not even sure that's a good idea. He has a girl friend, and we've even talked about his girlfriend problems when he's had them, I've given him suggestions and everything, so I also told him don't you think this convo is a little oxymoronic, since I brought her up for a REASON AGAIN. I mention her when I feel he is getting too deep into joking. He just keeps saying I can't joke, it's like serious but not serious, it's both. I told him that he was playing both sides, and he can't do that. He says he can. He then tells me not to be mad, and to tell him if I was. There's nothing to be mad at except the fact that I'm always confused to what we're talking about. He can never answer if straight. He just said, its one of those late night conversations where we just talk about random stuff.. I'm not sure about that. I know jokes aren't meant to be serious, but when he starts to get explicit it totally makes me question his intentions, and then I say so, and he goes it's not, he just likes playing that part, plays both sides, and goes back to where we left off. So, I'm not sure what's going on or if I'm even looking into it too much. Am I that much of a prude?? There are times when he says he may have messed up what could have been a possibility in the future, an in trying to be with me years before he met his current gf. I'm all for keeping your options open, but this is too open right? It seems like he is just still trying to make that happen. I told him I was confused too! I said, ya I can't tell if your serious or not anymore and he keeps going says it's both. I just don't know. He's playing some card, I don't know what. He says it's plutonic AND not -in my words. I don't believe is that true hybrid. I told him sometimes I actually think he wants to get physical with me, and he calls me apologizes, and we start the whole thing over. This isn't all the time. I don't base friendships on such things, and we had a lot to talk about as in our personal plans for the future, political stands etc, just good conversations, and then every so often this comes up. I'm not sure how to deal with it. Am I being too nice? I clearly stated where I am. He's also really friendly/cool, I just don't know why he does that. If someone can pinpoint why maybe I can somehow tell him to stop, because I thought I already did. I'm kind of tired of the ambiguity.

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Your question is a bit hard to read.. paragraphs might help.

But anyway, tell him to stop make sexual comments, and if he doesn't then stop talking to him. If it makes you uncomfortable then you don't have to put up with it. I certainly wouldn't, and don't. I don't like being friends with creepy guys.

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