floz Posted August 22, 2003 Share Posted August 22, 2003 I recently got married and since the beginning of the year i have lost a total of 5 friends. These people are what i consider toxic people (the people that drain you for everything then when you need them they are no longer around), and i finally got the guts to purge myself of these people which i consider really good but i feel like crap. I'm thinking these people are jealous of me because i'm the first one of my school friends to get married and i know that 3 out of the 5 ex friends really wanted to get married but i feel crappy cause i just don't understand and i hate feeling this way. I hate feeling that since me not talking to them that they don't miss me or even care enough about me to try and get back in contact with me, it's bringing me down..... i need help to get over them. Link to post Share on other sites
PurpleAngel Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 Did you move away from them in hope they would come back? Cos it sounds like your intention wasn’t to move away from them at all. If you feel that these are toxic people then it is actually a GOOD thing that they are not trying to come back into your life. You should feel grateful that God, the universe, or whatever you believe in has assisted you in ‘purging’ these people and keeping them OUT of your life. If you feel that they do not care enough to call then bugger them, you deserve friends that are wanting to be a apart of your life. If I where you I would be feeling VERY grateful that they are OUT! I would be using my energy meeting new people who may become friends that deserve you! Don’t feel bad at all, never let something of this nature effect you for too long, it’s (a) not worth it and (b) not healthy to pin your self worth on friends who don’t give a damn! Be grateful Good Luck ~PurpleAngel~ Link to post Share on other sites
grags Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Instead of getting over them, you should be considering what it is about yourself that attracts these toxic people. Seriously, why is it that you allow these "friends" to use and abuse you? I can understand it if the problem revolved around one person, but five?? Me thinks the issue is a little bit more complicated than mere "jealousy." And if you really need an answer, sit down and call up each and every one of them and ask them bluntly, "Why haven't you called me?" Tell them what you're thinking and if they don't like it, what is the big loss? You've already discounted them as your friends and decided they're losers. At least you'll get the answer your craving. Maybe it's not as complicated as it seems. If you don't give people an opportunity to victimize you, they won't. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimi2464 Posted September 15, 2003 Share Posted September 15, 2003 Hello, I just wanted to drop a line and let you know, that I have gone through a simular situation. I had people who thought the world of me and I thought the world of them, but then they got to the point where anytime I wasn't with them or if I was doing things with other people, I was considered a traitor and they would be mad at me for the rest of the week, it got to the point where they were mad at me more than they liked me so I had to get rid of them, they brought me down when I was feeling good and they weren't there when I was feeling bad, but you bet I was there in a heartbeat if they needed me. Well, it's been about 9 months since that happened but since the day I dumped them, yea at first I was sad because I knew all of them where doing things and having fun without me, but then I looked around and became friends with people who actually liked me for me and excepted me how I came, there are people like that out there, you have to look but I garantee there are decent people out there. Just keep looking for people you have things in common with, maybe other married people and things will get better, you will look back on your past friendships and see that it was not healthy for you....I did. And just know that they are jealous! They miss you and they can't stand that you had something better come along! Good Luck and Hang in there!!! Kimi Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 15, 2003 Share Posted September 15, 2003 Explain this to me. You don't like them. You consider them 'toxic'. Yet you wish they missed you. Why? So you can snub them again? If you 'dumped' them, they obviously got the message and are unlikely to come crawling back. It's a little mean of you to want them to, actually. Link to post Share on other sites
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