friendship ended

[babydove]

My best friend and i are pretty much over. I feel relieved to a certain degree but at the same time i am sad. I dont even know if we are casual friends. We have been/were friends for about 10 years. At one time i considered her my "soul" sister. I talked to her about everything. She knew me better than anyone. When i look back I wonder if maybe i let her in too much. This is what led to my ending the friendship. We used to work together but we both moved to different departments but are still at the same company. I asked her if we could spend a few hours a MONTH together , maybe have dinner, drinks or even meet for breakfast. She always told me she didnt have time for me. I respected that knowing the schedule she had. Then about a month ago i saw a comment on her Facebook page from a friend of hers telling her how they needed to get together again for "prime rib" night. I asked my friend about this. No time for me but for others??? She explained that it was a going away party and the girl and her stayed after for dinner. I was okay with that but told her i would still love to get together if even for an hour to catch up. She again told me she did not have time for me and that i must have more time to do things than her. That very same night she called and left a message on my V/M that she was leaving the "restaurant" from having drinks with a friend. I was hurt. We had just had a conversation earlier in the day. Then i look on Facebook and she has as her status " Name of restaurant" is soooooooooooo good. I commented "wish you would tell what is wrong with me !" She told me the next day that she just happened to see this persons car in the parking lot and stopped in and having a few drinks was not spending time or hanging out with a friend. I told her i needed some space. I couldnt understand 1. why she kept telling me she had no time for me 2. why would she purposely tell me she was going out with others when she know i wanted to spend time with her. We argued some over this and i told her i have no control over who she sees but wanted to know what was wrong with me. She said nothing and again apologized for not being able to spend time with me. Two days later her facebook status said "Breakfast with a friend....yum" I was devastated and pissed. I commented on her Facebook page "??? I give up " and not only did she post this on facebook but she texted me and told me she went to breakfast with someone. I lost all respect for her after this. The feelings i once felt for her were gone. I was hurt. I cried. I was confused. I ended the friendship right then. Told her not to contact me but after i calmed down i thought ..i still wanted her in my life but maybe as a "casual " friend. We talked some for a few days but when she found out i deleted her off my facebook she wont talk to me anymore. I explained to her that her comments were hurting me- she said she would never bother me again. Would this have hurt anyone elses feelings? Any advice on dealing with this break up?

[Arabella]

I know exactly how you feel.

 

Someone who used to be extremely important to me kept telling me that he couldn't find time to see me, but every time we talked, he would tell me about all the other things he DID have time for. Every time we spoke, it was like a slap on the face to be reminded that I just wasn't worth his time. This eventually became too hurtful to bear and I walked away.

 

What you're feeling is perfectly natural. She doesn't respect you in the least. Not only does she keep rubbing it in, but she is completely disregarding your feelings in the matter.

 

What sort of friend does this? It's her loss, not yours.

 

Arabella

[babydove]

Thanks Arabella I am glad to know i am not the only one who is/has gone through this. This just all went down the past few weeks. Now to just get through it. I have all kinds of feelings. Relief, sadness, confusion, anger, guilt. Its gotten a little easier. Its just hard to know that someone you thought cared for you really doesnt. I almost feel used. Time heals all wounds though. thanks again

[that girl]

I think your friend was trying to end the friendship by slowly fading away.

 

I think most people have been on both sides of this, the best thing you can do is try not to take it too personally.

 

But in future, don't make those kind of comments on Facebook. It just makes you look needy or bitchy to all of her friends.