wjg23g Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 Hey LS I've got a group of friends at school, about 10-12 of us who hang out once/twice a week. Most of them went on a school trip to Italy this summer. Since we've all been back, we went once to the bar we have our weekly happy hour at and it was fun times. i was nice to everyone, per usual. tonight, 1 guy is having a bbq and everyone is invited, as i caught a glimpse of the facebook invite on a friend's computer. i'm not invited though. i'm cool w/ this guy, not great friends, but no problems i thought. so, what's the deal? should i be pissed at whole group or just him? anything i can do? also, perhaps related, this group of friends became friendly w/ my ex, who also went on the trip. i'm not sure if she was invited, but i know she is now friends w/ this group of people where before, when i introduced her to the group (she didn't know any of them), she didn't want to hang out w/ them, wanted nothing to do with them. she & i haven't spoken in months. anything i should be worried about/do here? (my one friend who became good friends w/ her said they never talked about me on the trip) Link to post Share on other sites
Not the love ace Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 Hey LS I've got a group of friends at school, about 10-12 of us who hang out once/twice a week. Most of them went on a school trip to Italy this summer. Since we've all been back, we went once to the bar we have our weekly happy hour at and it was fun times. i was nice to everyone, per usual. tonight, 1 guy is having a bbq and everyone is invited, as i caught a glimpse of the facebook invite on a friend's computer. i'm not invited though. i'm cool w/ this guy, not great friends, but no problems i thought. so, what's the deal? should i be pissed at whole group or just him? anything i can do? also, perhaps related, this group of friends became friendly w/ my ex, who also went on the trip. i'm not sure if she was invited, but i know she is now friends w/ this group of people where before, when i introduced her to the group (she didn't know any of them), she didn't want to hang out w/ them, wanted nothing to do with them. she & i haven't spoken in months. anything i should be worried about/do here? (my one friend who became good friends w/ her said they never talked about me on the trip) I could understand that you may be annoyed and pissed as I would be too. Perhaps though, the guy mistakenly forgot to invite you? You should try and see if anyone wants you there and if your presence is welcomed. If not, then I would definitely get to the bottom of things and try and figure out why I'm being left out. I might seem juvenile but if these people are supposed to be cool with you, it only makes sense to me that they invite you and welcome you to party. As for you ex-girlfriend, I don't think there's anything wrong per se with your friends being friends with her but I've been in a similar situation before and there could be ulterior motives to her being friends with your friends. On the flip side, just handle it like an adult and see where everything is going. Call a friend up, ask, talk, try to get some news. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 I would try not to read in to it too much... People just forget things sometimes. if u have not done anything that ha sobviously offended him, and if you are fairly sure he does not dislike you, then I am sure he just forgot to ask you. You should only casually mention it to a friend - so u do notappear like u r over analyzing this guy who did not invite u..... Just be like " Hope u have fun at the party, I thought I would have been invited but oh well:)". If there is anythingto be said, you rfriend will say it, if they know anything about the guy not liking you.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author wjg23g Posted September 17, 2010 Author Share Posted September 17, 2010 update- i never investigated the first party. the kid who was having it was friendly with me last time i was out. I've been out with this group of friends twice since then. But tonight, they're all going to another party. i'm 99% sure one of the girls in the group is having it. a few of them talked about it today when we were in between classes. What's going on? I try and be nice to everyone. I think I should ask my one friend who's in the group about it. The best part is, this is high school-esque crap, but we're in law school! Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 Well that was certainly interesting for me to know, about how much law school can like high school! Look, if there are no obvious reasons as to WHY your friends, who are well and truly " cool" with you, would deliberately exclude you! If these people really do enjoy being around you and have NO issues with you being at these gatherings/parties, then there is no reason WHY they would collude and come to some sort of agreement where they would make a desision to exclude you. If I were you, I would simply ask them " look, I noticed that you all went to a couple of parties, from which I was not invited to, and I feel a little confused about it". Say that " if there is a problem with me attenting certain events, I would like to know what the problem is, rather than finding out I am the only one out of this usual group that is not invited" Link to post Share on other sites
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