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Is my friend being self-righteous and immature?


Not the love ace

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Not the love ace

Okay, this might be a bit long but I'll try and make sense out of it without going through the whole chronicles of what happened and breaking it down.

 

I have a friend of mine, who has been acting quite self-righteous as of late and its pretty annoying. Basically, two friends of ours who were a couple broke up not too long ago and he is more friends with the guy then the girl. So basically there was a lot of drama going on at the ex-couples house between them and their roommate. Prior to this, my friend didn't care and hated the two other roommates and thought they were being unfair.

 

So he talked smack about them like crazy. However, I was more friends with the girls then the guy and hung out with the girls a lot. He seemed to be jealous of this and mentioned to me "Oh they never hangout with me and I introduced you to them" and showed bitterness and jealously at time. I was also one time invited to a dinner party with a mutual friend of ours and again he seemed upset because according to him "he introduced" me to her which in untrue. So he had a chip on his shoulder.

 

So he would tell me how he can get all the friends to hate each other or how he can get everyone to unite and he likes to play "Devils Advocate". Basically he thinks he holds power over them and he seemed to prove it this weekend. This weekend he hung out with his friends ex and for 3 days straight they did drugs together and partied. Then he eventually bringing some peace in the house by having her ex hang with them and having everyone hang without any drama. Of course he was able to do that because he supplied some drugs but that's a different story and not the big deal here.

 

I'm all for unity and peace but I just feel like he's trying to just feel better about himself then doing good. I've known him longer than everyone else (11 years) and know how low his self-confidence is and he always needs some sort of validation in something to make himself feel better. He'll talk crazy **** about someone one week, and will talk about how he doesn't want to hang with them anymore than the next week he's with that person and acting like there his best friend. He's been like this with me plenty of times and its annoying.

 

Sometimes I feel he gets jealous of people who were his friends first seem to hangout with me and enjoy my company more. I believe he takes it as a personal attack when its clearly not the case and becomes vindictive and catty and wants to prove something.

 

So now that he's accomplished getting friends together to smoke weed and take E and party, he feels on top of the world and is gloating in my face insidiously. He's proud that he has some sort of control at this vulnerable moment and feels he is the "peace maker".

 

I don't want to make it sound like I'm jealous because I'm really not. The LAST thing I want is drama but I can't stand his immature actions, especially that he is one of the oldest out of the group (25).

 

He's also one of those people who always have to make themselves seem much more important than they really are and exaggerate things as well. Like if he's in a room with a bunch of people, and I call him three times he'll go "Oh geez, he's blowing up my phone! He calls me like every 30 seconds! I wonder what he wants from me? God!"

 

Egh. I do get annoyed of him but I need a second opinion.

 

Anyway, do I have the right to be some what annoyed by him? Or am I just letting it get to me way too much? Give me some info, thanks.

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Where is it written that you cant be annoyed?? Of course you can be annoyed and you expressed it quite well here. Now what is really the question you wanted to ask? If you have the right to be annoyed, there again its your perspective , so its your choice.

 

I would tend to veer away from folks who seem to think inducing drugs is the answer to bring about peace. Its just a band aid to the sore.

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Not the love ace
Where is it written that you cant be annoyed?? Of course you can be annoyed and you expressed it quite well here. Now what is really the question you wanted to ask? If you have the right to be annoyed, there again its your perspective , so its your choice.

 

I would tend to veer away from folks who seem to think inducing drugs is the answer to bring about peace. Its just a band aid to the sore.

 

Well, I just wanted to know if I was possibly just exaggerating but I feel like my thoughts are valid and feel a little more reassured I guess. I completely agree that the whole drug inducing thing isn't going to bring about peace. The problem that I have now is trying to tell my friends (that my self-righteous friend that's inducing them with the drugs), is doing this for acceptance and for his own personal selfish reasons. Its been actually 5-6 days in a row that he's gotten my two friends to do E with him and I can see that this is going to put a hole in our relationship.

 

I've gotten close to them and now this whole drug ordeal is adding a whole new element and dilemma and I don't know how to tell talk to them without them feeling like I'm judging them since I myself don't do drugs. I don't want to come off as judgmental because I don't judge anything they do but I just want them to understand that since he's been down in a whole and wanted to feel accepted this is his only way of doing it.

 

I just want to try and not cause too much drama and at the same time not ruin my friendship with them. I'm just worried that they'll become hooked and spend a lot of their time doing this, when they can be doing much better things and hurt their pockets in the process. I've been down this road with other friends and it hurts to lose them because they choose to just stay home and drug out day in and out and week in and out. It also hurts even more that my company becomes obsolete to them because the people who are doing drugs with them all of a sudden have more in common and are more fun and the life of the party.

 

This has been a tougher situation than I anticipated. :(

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