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I'm being excluded because of a boy


artchick88

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I met this group of really cool people who I fell in love with a few months ago.

 

One fellow in the group, *Karl,* and I had instant chemistry. We really grew to like eachother and when he told me he had a girlfriend he told me he was leaving her.

 

TIME PASSES

 

Recently, I met the girlfriend and he is not leaving her. She could tell there was an attraction between us and I guess when I was drunk I was too flirtatious him which really pissed her off.

 

The girlfriend, *Laura,* is really really good friends with the girl who basically brought me into this group, *Jenna*

 

Well, I could tell Laura didnt like me so I apologized to her. I really did sincerely feel bad and I thought it was the right thing to do.

 

Jenna is still being a jerk to me although she has not confronted me at all.

 

Should I talk to her about it or just let it go? I really want to make this right. I feel like I'm being unfairly targeted as the cause of their relationship problems and I don't want to loose Jenna as a friend.

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I met this group of really cool people who I fell in love with a few months ago.

 

One fellow in the group, *Karl,* and I had instant chemistry. We really grew to like eachother and when he told me he had a girlfriend he told me he was leaving her.

 

TIME PASSES

 

Recently, I met the girlfriend and he is not leaving her. She could tell there was an attraction between us and I guess when I was drunk I was too flirtatious him which really pissed her off.

 

The girlfriend, *Laura,* is really really good friends with the girl who basically brought me into this group, *Jenna*

 

Well, I could tell Laura didnt like me so I apologized to her. I really did sincerely feel bad and I thought it was the right thing to do.

 

Jenna is still being a jerk to me although she has not confronted me at all.

 

Should I talk to her about it or just let it go? I really want to make this right. I feel like I'm being unfairly targeted as the cause of their relationship problems and I don't want to loose Jenna as a friend.

 

You are being targeted because of your behavior towards a guy with a girlfriend. Big ups to you for apologizing, but the fall out is the GF's wounded pride. Not you fault for how she feels about it, but your behavior is on you.

Maybe if you acknowledge this to Jenna and swear you will not bother with the guy even if you're drunk, she will see you meant no real harm.

 

What will you do though if the guy drops his relationship? It might put you back in the hot seat socially. Not suggesting you not step to a guy once he becomes single, but trying to ask just how important being a member of this social group is to you.

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If he did become single I wouldn't date him.

I'm pretty sure he has been emphasizing my attraction to him and NOT his attraction to me in order to keep him out of trouble with his GF.

At this point I barely acknowledge him when we happen to be at the same place.

 

The apology I sent to Laura was via email and she has not responded. When I see her around I guess I will take her aside and tell her to her face.

Or should I just leave it alone and assume she got the message? Is there need for follow up with her?

 

I will take your advice with Jenna and explain that it was all a mistake and that I sincerely have no interest in Karl and that I am sorry if I jeopardized the peace within the group. It certainly was not my intent.

 

Thanks for your reply. :)

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If he did become single I wouldn't date him.

I'm pretty sure he has been emphasizing my attraction to him and NOT his attraction to me in order to keep him out of trouble with his GF.

At this point I barely acknowledge him when we happen to be at the same place.

 

The apology I sent to Laura was via email and she has not responded. When I see her around I guess I will take her aside and tell her to her face.

Or should I just leave it alone and assume she got the message? Is there need for follow up with her?

 

I will take your advice with Jenna and explain that it was all a mistake and that I sincerely have no interest in Karl and that I am sorry if I jeopardized the peace within the group. It certainly was not my intent.

 

Thanks for your reply. :)

 

I'd leave Laura alone. Your approaching her could be taken as stirring the pot or gloating even if you absolutely have no interest in doing such. Try taking the sideway approach with Laura. She has reason AND motive to view you in a bad light when you consider Karl likely did as you suspect. Maybe over time, if she sees you just hanging out and no drama ensuing, she will warm to you.

 

Point out to Jenna that your character is at a disadvantage for not having built up much of a history within this social group. Even the best people put their foot in it by accident sometimes. ;)

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