Pedigree Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 They're not what I would call my inner circle of friends, but a lack of friends from high school that attend my uni much less my faculty made me real close with two guys from my faculty. I'll admit it straight out, I'm the butt of the joke in the group. Now, as someone who is socially awkward and as someone who's not very worldly at all, I've just learned to smile and shrug (think Family Guy where Peter talks about his ancestor working in the silent movies), play along, and not take myself seriously when it comes to jokes being made about these matters. However, there's something about these things that starting to make me feel uncomfortable. In recent weeks, I've been called an "Idiot", had one guy said to me "no one'll take you seriously", and have been told "that's sad" when I tell them things that I like to do in the weekend. There's something about these comments, which aren't framed by jokes which I found to be crossing the line. Granted, it's only one "friend" (I'm starting to question my friendship enough to put quotation marks) that's doing all this. The other friend is someone who jokes about/with me but accepts the qualities above as quirks. But this "friend" I feel is starting to cross the line with the things that he said. I haven't shown signs of visible annoyance (because he'll win) but I'll be lying if I said that I'm not glad to see the back of him everytime it's time to go our own ways. How can I deal with this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Just look at him deadpan, and then look away shaking your head, muttering "what a jerk"...... or Just look at him deadpan, and then look away shaking your head, muttering "you're so funny, you kill me"...... or Just look at him deadpan, and then look away shaking your head, muttering "there speaks the king of cool"...... Or just look at him deadpan, shake your head and look away. Without saying anything. Then change the subject. Thing is, give people fuel, and it will fire them up. The best thing is to treat his comments with silent disdain and contempt. And tell your 'good' friend it's beginning to piss you off. If he says, "Oh c'mon, he's just kidding, he don't mean it bro'..." tell him to just try being the butt of jokes all the time and see how he likes it. Turn your back on the guy, and ignore him. He will get the message. He will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pedigree Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 Thanks Taramaiden. For sure, I'm not going to go to anything held by this guy. Don't want to voluntarily go to something and then get insulted. No f'ing way. Anyone, else? Link to post Share on other sites
green_tea Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Well if I were in your shoes, I would just stop hanging out with these guys, i.e. consider the friendship over. That's what I do if so called friends start making me feel bad. It really is better to have no friends than fake friends. If the other guy values your friendship then he might talk to you, if not I wouldn't worry - have some pride in yourself. Maybe try to get involved in things at your uni, and meet other people, and you'll start making other friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pedigree Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 (edited) These guys are not the only people that I know at uni. It's just that I see a lot of them. But other than that, I've decided over this weekend that my "friend" is not worth the trouble. It's gonna be tricky and I'm gonna be onpopular in the short term (I signed up for a trip overseas at the end of the semester with these guys and going to have to back out; thank God I haven't paid anything) but I know it's going to be a good decision in the long term. Edited April 4, 2010 by Pedigree Link to post Share on other sites
blueyedgrl85 Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 I'll admit it straight out, I'm the butt of the joke in the group. Now, as someone who is socially awkward and as someone who's not very worldly at all, I've just learned to smile and shrug (think Family Guy where Peter talks about his ancestor working in the silent movies), play along, and not take myself seriously when it comes to jokes being made about these matters. You deserve better friends. Find other people to hang out with- those with similar interests as you. The two guys you hang out with are idiots (I'd use a lot stronger language but trying to keep it PC here...) I've been in a similar situation as you and have (finally!) realized that friends who treat you poorly are not friends at all. Sure, it's a little lonely if it's the main people you hang out with, but if they can't treat you right then it's not worth it. People who put others down are really insecure with themselves, but seriously the older we get, the more we realize how precious life on this earth is and we don't want to waste it being amongst people who critique/criticize us. It really isn't worth it. Keep your head up high and look for individuals who like doing what you like doing. Treat yourself with respect and if anyone gives you crap, just walk away. They will then have to find another "target" to pick on, while you still have your self-respect and pride with you. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pedigree Posted April 7, 2010 Author Share Posted April 7, 2010 I've taken the first step to get out of this because you see, I've signed up for an overseas trip at the end of the semester with these two guys (luckily no money has been forked yet by me). That makes things a bit complicated because I have to pull out. I just e-mailed the sympathetic friend and put it all on the table(I'm not going on that trip, not putting up with the other guy's crap). I'm not gonna meet with the two of them in real life until next week but when I do, the most likely thing that'll happen is to transition from the "friend" putting me down for backing out to me putting it all on the table for him. Hopefully it's not gonna be bumpy. Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 next time the guy cuts into you, kick him the nuts. Hard. he'll think twice next time. Happened in my group a little over 20yrs ago in highschool. One of my friends just wouldn't lay off one of the girls. Don't know what his problem was. Even the other guys telling him to lay off didn't work. It was going to turn into a brawl between him & another guy that got tired of it all. She kept turning the other cheek until he said something while she was wearing clogs. Heavy wooden clogs. He never saw her foot lift. Nobody did. He was on the ground & she was walking away strutting & that was it. He kept his comments to himself after that & their actually pretty good friends these days. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pedigree Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 Well thinks developed better than what I had expected. I went to my good friend first and told him about my problem. He's on my side, so that's good. Then just today, I met up with the friend that I had a problem with and chatted 1 on 1. He said he was sorry if he went over the line when he busts my balls. So it's all good, I guess, though in saying that, I'm a forgive but don't forget kind of guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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