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Drifting...in many ways.


Cosmogirl10388

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Cosmogirl10388

Hi, I'm 14-years-old. I am having problems with one of my very good friends (who actually types on this board). Right now, I am having feelings that she and I are "drifting" from each other. In seventh grade, which I like to refer to as "the good ol' days," we were practically the same. We had the same morals, we hung out with the same people, we laughed at the same things, and we loved each others company. Now, things have changed. I guess, you can say that I love gotten a lot more preppy, while she has gotten totally punked-out. We are going to be going to different schools in August. The thought of this is killing me, although, I feel it isn't "killing" her.

 

I have the feeling, that I am a pain to her. It seems like she is being forced to grow up a lot faster than I am. Although, I am known as "The Mother" of our group, she is obviously more mature than I am. An example is, sexuality. She is doing things that I wouldn't do at 14-years-old. I also seems to be a little more "peppy" than she is. I can't decipher if I am immature or just a naturally happy person. Whatever the case, my constant peppiness (laughing, mostly) is obviously getting to her.

 

The obvious thing to do, would be to talk to her--good, old fashion communication. But, believe me; I have tried this. Nothing seems to be getting through. I think that she is too busy for me. My friend means the world to me...but, I don't think I mean anything to her. Do I need to grow up? Do I need to "let my friend go?" I'm so confused...

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Friendships often go through phases. Right now, you ought to just leave your friend alone and let her move in whatever direction suits her. I'm sure that given enough time, the two of you can be friends once more.

 

You are at an age when people have lots of options and lots of growing to do. Everybody grows in different directions and at different speeds. This process has caused the two of you to be incompatible for a time. Just accept it as part of life and find friends with whom you are more in sync with.

 

You will find that all through your entire life, friends will move away in different directions because people change all the time, find new interests, move to new places, get caught up in relationships...all kinds of things. If you want to be a good friend, don't resist these changes. Let your friends go in whatever direction they need to...and you may find that in time many of them will come back to you. It's just the way it works.

 

Get used to this. It will happen a lot and there's no sense in getting all worked up about it each time it happens.

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