dassme Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 Just a General question to everyone but I was wondering how you would react to it! Well I have this very good friend who happens to be one of the nicest young lady I've known! She's fun to hang around with and we have a blast when we're together. We've had our problems as most friends do and we always make up. My problem this time around is that she lied to me today which really bothered me. She says it's a little white lie but to me it just pissed me off. What happened was that we made plans to hang out at my house to watch a movie which she really wanted to watch. So I rented the movie for her the night before she was to come over. The following morning (which was this morning), she called to tell me that she's not able to come over because her BF hurt his knee and wanted her to accompany him to the doctor. I said ok but I felt like she wasn't telling me the truth. I don't know why but I just felt a lie coming about. Well, we continued to talk but I noticed that she was talking in her normal tone of voice. Usually when we talk and he's there, she has to whisper because he's a very jealous person when it comes to other guys talking to her. Anyway I continued chattin with her but then I asked where he was. She said he's downstairs but I thought otherwise. Now she was getting a bit angry because I was questioning her about the validity of her reason. She hung up on me. A few minutes later she called me back and told me she was lying about her BF. She did that because she really didn't want to come over. Before all this, she would always tell me she can't want to come over and finally watch the movie. I asked her why and she just kept on repeating the same answer. Now I'm a very reasonable person but this really bothered me. She says that I'm overreacting and that she's sorry for lying to me. She really wanted to come over but she had things to do. Why didn't she tell me earlier that she didn't want to come over? This movie wasn't very easy to find and I had to search hi and low for it. Now when she tells me something I feel like she's always lying to me. How would you react? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 The poor girl was struggling to get out of coming over to see this movie because she didn't want to see it, period. She also didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you she wasn't interested...so instead of upsetting you, she made up some lame excuses. Cut the poor girl some slack and forgive her. We're all human. I think it was pretty sweet of her to try to spare your feelings. How do I know she didn't want to see this particular movie? Because if she wanted to see it she would have come over to your place and watched it. As long as she doesn't lie all the time, she's entitled to be human once in a while. Just forget it. I'm sure she's quite truthful with you most of the time, unless you are pressuring her way too much to spend time with you when she has obligations to her boyfriend, family and other committments and she has to make up excuses. Now, would there be a chance you are more interested in her than just a friend? If that's the case, YOU are lying to her by acting like a buddy. This lady has got a boyfriend. Go find a nice, available lady who might want to watch this particular movie before you have to turn it back in to the rental place. Enjoy her friendship if you can and keep reasonable contact. I also think it's deceitful on the part of both of you to have these whisper conversations you refer to when her boyfriend is around. If your friendship can't be out in the open, it's pretty corrupt. If you are truly her friend, she should introduce you to her boyfriend and you should befriend him as well so you can interact with her without him getting jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dassme Posted May 16, 2003 Author Share Posted May 16, 2003 Well, as for her BF, he does know about me and I have met him. He says to her that he thinks I'm kool. I asked her why she does that when I call and all she could say is that she doesn't want to hear "IT." As for her lie, I did cut her some slack. We are all human and we make mistakes once in a while. But what's most bothersome is that she's pissed off at me for being mad at her. As a matter of fact, she was lied to a couple of weeks back by her best friend and she didn't take it too lightly. It pissed her off royally! Actually they don't have too much contact after that incident. My point is why would you lie to someone else if you know how it feels to be lied to? It does hurt your feelings you know! I Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 16, 2003 Share Posted May 16, 2003 YOU WRITE: "My point is why would you lie to someone else if you know how it feels to be lied to?" Again, if you don't understand that she was trying to avoid hurting your feelings by telling you she wasn't interested in seeing that movie, then I think you should terminate your friendship with her. She deserves more understanding friends who appreciate her efforts at being sensitive when bowing out of things she doesn't really want to do. I'm sure the nature of the lie directed at her was much different and there is no comparison. Hey, dude, if you want to be pissed at her...knock yourself out!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lucklessinlove Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 She appears to be acting very strangely... Is she the type that will say she likes something just to make others happy or does she stand up for her real feelings? If she has to whisper to talk to you on the phone b/c of her jealous bf then maybe her bf found out she was gonna come see a movie with you and decided that he didn't want her to go and she couldn't think of how to tell you... If the lil white lie was about her bf then chances are the reason she had to lie had something to do with her bf.. Just a few thoughts for you.. ~*~Manders~*~ Link to post Share on other sites
maria Posted May 31, 2003 Share Posted May 31, 2003 to AMD...... hey be glad and happy you have a friend...... i have never been ask to come over and watch a movie....with a friend. i have one special friend,but she's so busy. we don't have time to even call each other,only e-mail. but however,you friend should have just said,she didn't feel like coming over at that givin' time. i wouldn't know how to feel to have a friend to even ask me,to go to the mall,movie,or just sit and talk for that matter. gosh,i wish i had a true blue freind. good luck,maria Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 It's not uncommon for folks to put their romantic relationships ahead of their platonic ones. Although I agree that she may be less-than-honest at times, I think she was just trying to spare your feelings. Trying to have her cake and eat it too, I suppose? But I'm confused about some contradictions in your posts...If her boyfriend truly thought you were so "kool," than why does she claim she has to whisper so that he doesn't get jealous?? <<scratching head and logging off...>> Link to post Share on other sites
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